


Forgotten Scars

by xXscarlet_sailsXx



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Big Brother Shiro (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Confused Shiro (Voltron), Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Flashbacks, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Injured Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Protective Keith (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron) Angst, Worried Keith (Voltron), Worried Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-06-10 10:52:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15289956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXscarlet_sailsXx/pseuds/xXscarlet_sailsXx
Summary: Lance knew that Shiro would never hurt him if he were in his right mind, and he was okay now. He really was. Just because nightmares of his death plagued his nights, and visions of Shiro hurting him his days, did not mean that Lance couldn’t be okay. Other team members had it worse off than him. How come it was so hard to move on?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeey... so this is my first fic, like, ever and I am terrified to post so here goes. I've been reading them for forever, and felt I should write one when my sister beat me to it. I mean, I can't let her post first. Just, no. I saw a prompt on tumblr and decided to go for it. I think it's going to be more than one chapter, just let me know if any of you want more... I also couldn't decide the ship and sat for like 30 minutes debating whether Shance or Klance was better. I decided on Klance just because that was my mood.
> 
> I am a million percent open to constructive criticism, I literally don't take offense to any writing seggestions. Please help me I can't write.
> 
> Fic is based off of this prompt: https://langsty-mc-langstface.tumblr.com/post/175654741740/langst-prompt

   Lance was okay. He _was._ He had promised himself as much after they had gotten Shiro back; the kind, selfless, caring, understanding Shiro. Whatever his counterpart had done never mattered because it wasn’t _their_ Shiro, it was a copy. A body with no connection to his Shiro other than those eyes, voice… Lance’s list could go on, but he would never let his thoughts spiral too far down. He knew somewhere deep down that his teammate would refrain from doing anything he had if he were himself, but nothing in his mind was certain after the words said, the punches pulled, the bruises littering his body for days.

After finding out about Shiro, the relief that passed through him made his head swirl in dizzying circles. He was suddenly drained of all energy, exhausted. It was his fault. All of it. Damn it, he _heard_ Shiro in the mind space, ignoring it purely because he trusted the clone. How could someone screw up so colossally? How could he continue defending the universe if he couldn’t even tell his own leader apart from a clone, a fake? Now Shiro was on the floor dead, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Lance fell to his knees and began to sob uncontrollably. No one made fun of him this time, which he was eternally grateful for. The tears themselves were enough humiliation. _Dios,_ how could he have been so ignorant? Lance felt a cool hand on his shoulder prompting him to calm down. As he had done many times before, he let the tears come to an abrupt halt. Contrary to popular belief, Lance was a master of keeping his emotions in check. He rarely slipped up, putting a facade of stupidity, carelessness, and laughter. When it came down to business, Lance could become more serious and closed off than Keith Kogane: the brood master himself.

Lance watched quietly as Allura took Shiro’s conscience from the black Lion and came around behind Shiro’s head. She carefully placed her finders around the base of his neck and hair. Lance remembered how she had done the same to him, bringing him out from under the cold, dark clutches of death. Huh, he had died, hadn’t he. It was never addressed, mostly because of everything that was going on the past few weeks, but partly because Lance was ashamed to admit that this was plaguing his nights. Allura was dealing with Lotor, and Keith was living on a space whale thingy for _two years_. His troubles seemed insignificant compared to what they had gone through.

Lance was brought from his thoughts when Shiro sat up, immediately slumping against Keith. He almost started crying again, but kept his emotions hidden away in favor of Shiro seeing him as a strong, worthy paladin. Whether he was or not didn’t matter in that moment.

The rest of the day was a blur of emotions. Lance could barely make out any words, he didn’t even know if he had said anything aloud. He was brought back to the present with the solid, welcomed words, “Were going home.”

After all that happened during the day, all of the paladins were stressed, and utterly exhausted. Allura told them all to rest for a few days on the planet they had landed on after seeing Shiro almost collapse in an attempt to remove himself from the ground. Lance honestly couldn’t remember where they were, he only wanted to get the days before they were home over with. He knew that they were far from Earth, that they didn’t have wormholes this time. Only giant robot lions with cool personalized powers and the ability to merge into an enormous robot. Thats all.

Lance shook the thought process out of his head before it could go any further, and stared down into the makeshift bed he set up in Red’s belly. There turned out to be more to the lions than merely a cockpit. Traveling down the hidden staircase, Lance found himself in a room he could sleep in, and made a nest of pillows and blankets he had stolen from all around the castle before it was destroyed. Once they were arranged properly in a large, satisfying cocoon, he let his body collapse onto it. He was out before anyone could say “Razzle Dazzle”.

∞

  _Lance woke up peacefully for the first time in ages, his eyes barely fluttering open. He belatedly noticed a figure looming over his own with new completely silver hair, which made him distinguishable as only Shiro._

_Sitting up, Lance made eye contact with his leader, hoping for an explanation. Why was he here, in Lance’s own room? In his lion? Hold on, Shiro was on his feet, looking perfectly healed and energized. Lance blinked up at him, gulping visibly._

_“I spoke with Keith,” Shiro stated cooly._

_“Oh, yeah?” Lance inquired, slowly standing up, opting for sarcasm rather than anything serious, “What did he do this time?”_

_Smirking, Shiro shook his head, “Keith didn’t do anything, he’s perfect.” That hurt more than Lance was willing to admit, “On the other hand,_ you _have failed me. No, you have failed this team. How could you leave me in the Astral Plane all alone? You heard me, but did nothing. Keith wants his lion back, and honestly, I am more then willing to comply. We have the black paladin, me, the red paladin, Keith. We have Hunk, Pidge, and Allura to pilot the rest of the lions. That leaves you, our weak link. There is one paladin too many. Lance, I would like you to step down from Voltron._  

_He thought of all the times Shiro, his hero, had hit him. He knew it was a clone now, but that never changed the fact that it had been painful, both physically and mentally. His Galra arm heated up, burning his own in some places. He made sure to keep those hidden from the other paladins at all costs because Shiro only threatened to hurt him more if he told anyone. So, he dealt with the pain. He was okay. He was always okay._

_The rest of the paladins had entered, making Lance’s experience much harder to endure. He nodded slowly, not trusting his words opting for the more trustworthy option of stumbling into Red’s cockpit. He realized that he wasn’t on the ground, no, he was watching the plates break apart, Allura’s lion oblivious to the breakage beneath her._  

_Forgetting his troubles, Lance dove strait down to save Allura from the blast before it could hi t the most important member of Voltron. He felt as if every muscle was being torn apart, ripped to shreds. He was made of glass and the world was his hammer. Lance didn’t remember if he screamed or not, but his voice felt raw and wasted. Red sure seemed worried, that thought came without a doubt. He felt the torture stop as abruptly as it came, his name being called on the communication system over and over and over. He just wanted it to_ stop. _Lance had given up by the time allura entered the lion, he had let go of the last threads of his consciousness, falling in darkness._

  _It was noting like he would have imagined. He was lonely, and scared. No, he was terrified, shaking from head to toe. He was dead, this was it, there was nothing great he had every done in his life to be remembered, no one to love him. HIs family wouldn’t even know until they all made it back to Earth one day. His thoughts were spiraling down, further and further until he was suffocating in the silence._

_There was suddenly light and_ warmth _, he felt arms around him, the strong pull of quintessence bringing him back into the world of the living._

_“You saved me,” he mumbled gratefully to Allura before promptly losing his consciousness once again._

∞

Lance shot up in his bed, gasping. He felt the wetness on his cheeks and realized it was all a dream. Only a dream.

 He despised the fact that dreams could immobilize him so truly. They were fake, right? His team would never leave him, although the dying was very, _very_ real. A shiver ran down Lance’s spine and he knew that sleep was a luxury he couldn’t afford.

Lance opted for walking around the planet. It almost felt like the desert on Earth, but nothing could compare to the greatness of the planet he grew up on. He let his thoughts take him wherever they liked, he deserved it. All of it. He was a failure, unworthy of being a paladin, or even being in space.

After some time wandering the planet, Lance looked around himself, realizing that the lions were out of his view and the sun was already high in the sky. _Oh,_ he thought, _Must’ve been a longer walk than expected_.

Sulking his way to the lions was more exhausting than he believed it would be. He hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, or any night since his “death” for that matter, so walking all night drained his energy much faster than he would have liked. He was tired. So, _so_ tired.

“Lance,” he heard Pidge shriek, “Where _were_ you?”

“Oh, you know, searching for the beautiful alien ladies on this planet. Although there don’t seem to be any…" 

“Lance, this planet is uninhabited,” Pidge grumbled, taking the bait and rolling her eyes.

“Eh, you never know. It was worth a shot. Also, Coran is never to be trusted on the inhabitance of planets. Ever.” He heard Hunk snort in the distance.

“Lance!” It was Shiro. No, no, no, no, he wasn’t ready.

“Shiro, how are you, man?” Lance’s chest was constricting painfully, twisting his insides until he couldn’t breathe.

“Much, much better thanks to some Altean concoction. I mean, how were they this advanced ten thousand years ago?”

Lance chuckled hesitantly, “I don’t know, dude.”

“Look,” Shiro began quietly, “I don’t know what Kuron was like, but you’re the only person I haven’t spoken to, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You never know what your clone is capable of, huh.”

“Mhm,” Lance couldn’t trust real words, “I’m peachy.”

Shiro visibly sighed, relieved, and pulled Lance into an unexpected hug. It was firm, but not threatening. It took everything in himself not to jerk away and never return. He tentatively put his arms around the other man. He was not going to hurt him, this was the real Shiro, but something in lance wouldn’t turn off. It was like sirens, buzzing louder than ever, the contact burning his skin.

_“Lance you don’t deserve to be here. When Keith returns you are to leave Voltron permanently!” Lance tried to back away but shiro grabbed his arm and dug deep into the skin. Lance gasped through the pain, hearing Shiro’s words before he left, “Tell anyone, and I’ll show you what real pain is."_  

Lance pulled away, keeping his eyes trained on anything but Shiro’s. He cleared his thoughts, declaring that he was going to wash up. Turning on his heel Lance left the team behind him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so that was it... just lmk about any faults in my writing etc.. I'll get another chapter up probably like tomorrow so be ready folks. I think it'll be either in Keith's or Shiro's perspective. Whatever makes more sense.
> 
> I'll see about making the next few chapters a bit longer but I knew if I wrote any more I wouldn't post because I'm a chicken shit.
> 
> I am going to stop writing notes now. Shoo, leave this horrid place. <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has words with Shiro and Lance about his distant behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha I lied. This came much faster than expected. 76% of that is the fact that I have too much time on my hands and being bored is not an option right now. The leftover (I can't math) is the fact that people read my fic? What? I honestly didnt expect anyone to even open the page so the amount of support I've gotten is too much. 
> 
> I also said something about longer chapters? Don't listen to what I say please.

   Keith knew something was wrong with Lance the moment Shiro had hugged him. Lance went fully ridged, his eyes glassing over as if he saw something terrifying, then just turned and left. He said something about the showers, but Keith was sure there were none… unless Red was much more advanced than he believed. He truly hoped that wasn’t the reason; it would have been great to have a shower in his lion.

A week had passed since Shiro was miraculously “brought back to life” by Allura, they had landed on another planet for resources so Keith noticed when Lance had avoided his leader at all costs. It could have been the fact that he and Shiro had never been too close, and seeing him dead just enlarged that gap. No, Lance had been Shiro’s right hand man, so that option was ruled out. Maybe it was the loss of an arm. That could be terrifying, right? Wait, no, Shiro’s arm was replaced a few days after by an Altean model Pidge had made as a spare. Bless her. Keith was beginning to formulate conspiracy theories to why Lance was acting so out of place, it was clear he never spoke a word to the poor man unless it was absolutely necessary. Even then, all Shiro got was a “Yeah, sounds great”, or a “I’m kinda busy, try me later”, on some occasions it got as low as a mere thumbs up. 

At first Keith was worried because, well, if _Lance_ of all people could partake in an awkward hug then something was morally wrong with life itself. Although thinking about it, he had been on the back of some creature for two years. Was Lance different from what he remembered? No, of all the annoying things that Lance was, socially awkward had never fit the description. 

In an attempt to pin point the exact reason for Lance’s utter _weirdness_ around Shiro, Keith began to stalk. He had become a pro in the art, mostly because interactions themselves were too much work. Following people was much more practical. It had begun with Jake, his crush in middle school before the Garrison. Keith was terrified that Jake was a male, so he began to follow his every move. Keith would swear on anything he had that it was not, in fact, creepy in any way. After said Jake had found out, the little reputation Keith had went to shit. He figured that he had nothing to lose, so stalking became his art. Any time he liked someone, he would follow them around learning everything about them. Again, not creepy.

After two days of relentlessly stalking Lance, Keith came up with no answers, mostly because he was so difficult to stalk. When he wasn’t with a member of the team, Lance was locked up in Red who’s particle barrier rarely ever came up. A minuscule smile played across his lips as he thought of how protective his old lion really was.

One more day of stalking and Keith’s worry was slipping into anger. If Lance was so keen on passing useful time in his lion, he should _at least_ talk to Shiro. Whatever was scaring Lance away became less and less of a factor in Keith’s mind. Lance should get over it, and make sure that his fellow paladin, no, _leader_ , was okay. It wasn’t that horrifying to hold a conversation with a man he’s known for years. Keith liked Lance, in more than one way (though he would never in his life admit to it), but he loved Shiro. As a brother, his ultimate guide through life. Lance had no right whatsoever to treat the man he loved the way he was.

Keith decided that brooding about his life was never going to get him anywhere, though it was his only option at the moment. He couldn’t ask Lance because that would just show that he cared, and everyone knew that Keith never cared unless it was Shiro. Or Lance, but no one knew about the latter yet. He was worried about Shiro, not Lance. If Lance wanted to hurt his brother, he would have to go through him.

“Hey, Keith?” Shiro’s voice rang through the open air.

“What’s up?” Keith knew exactly what was ‘up’.

Shiro moved his gaze to the soil for a few seconds before raising his head, “Have you seen Lance around lately? I can’t shake the feeling that he’s been more closed off than usual. Maybe he changed while I was gone.”

“No,” Keith stated harshly, “He has not _changed,_ he’s perfectly fine. Just because he wants to play the victim doesn’t give him the right to.”

“Keith—" 

“No, Shiro, you don’t understand. He wasn’t the one who died, you were. He didn’t lose another arm, you did. He wasn’t injured once in the process so _nothing_ Lance has done is excusable. He is a dramatic, petty—“

“Keith. Don’t blame Lance for what happened. If Lance isn’t speaking to me, he has a reason.”

“But Shiro, the reason doesn’t matter. You’re hurting and he doesn’t have the decency to get over himself.”

“He could be hurting just as much.”

“Nothing happened to him!”

“How could you know, Keith? You were on the back of a space whale. Do not point fingers until you know the facts." 

“I do know the facts, and Lance needs to learn how to care.”

“Says you.”

Keith was silent for a while after. Shiro sighed, placing a warm human hand onto his shoulder, then left. All of his rage from stress and general ‘keithness’ was pent up to a maximum level. He couldn’t stand the fact that Shiro was letting this go. Instead of listening to his fearless leader, Keith did what he knew was the right decision. Talk to the perpetrator himself.

As usual, Lance was holed up in his lion, so Keith took the easy was out.

“Lance! Open up, we have to talk. _Now_.” 

Lance slowly walked out of Red after a few more rounds of knocking. “Dude, give a man some privacy. This face requires work.” 

“I don’t have time for this, Lance! Why have you been avoiding Shiro? Or the other paladins for that matter. You never speak to him, you barely speak to me, Pidge gets some teasing… and Hunk is, well, Hunk. What’s your problem?”

Lance blinked at him for a few moments, awestruck. “What?” The word was barely there. Keith took no notice.

“Don’t play dumb, asshole, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re hurting Shiro and you know it. He’s the one suffering, and you act as if you’re the victim. It needs to stop. Now. You’re hurting my family, Lance, and I can’t let you do that.”

“Keith, I’m sorry,” Lance stumbled over his words. Keith scoffed. “I never wanted him to feel that way. Shit, you’re right, I’ve been distant. I didn’t even realize that I was the one causing his troubles. What do I _do_?”

It was Keith’s turn to be in awe. Lance was this submissive? No snarky reply? He was the one stumbling over his words now, “Talk to him. Shiro is much too understanding for anyone like you.”

The last part was harsh, he knew, but harsh was his default. Whenever Keith had a problem he would solve it with unking words or easy scowls. He watched Lance nod solemnly, completely out of character. Keith had only seen him act like this once, when he had offered to step down from the team. Keith had supported him then, truthfully joining the Blade so Lance would stay with them. Now he was pushing another person away because of his tendencies. Keith was about to backtrack and apologize, but Lance beat hit to it.

“Uh, sorry, Mullet. I’ll go clean myself up and be out in a jiffy. Gotta look cute for our fearless leader, am I right?” Lance was back to normal. Keith’s shoulders slumped in relief. 

“Yeah wash up, we’ll be waiting.”

∞

Lance had, as promised, shown up. Not only had he shown up, but he acted as if nothing had ever happened. Making fun of his mullet, talking to Shiro, listening to Pidge’s science words and Hunk’s tech ones.

_Whoa, maybe harsh is actually useful sometimes_ , Keith thought to himself with a smile. He would have to apologize to Lance later, but for now, he was content with the company of his team. He hadn’t realized at first how missed Lance’s remarks really were. His eyes were rolling fondly now.

“Hey, Shiro,” Keith overheard Lance saying late in the night.

“Yeah, bud.”

“Sorry if I’ve caused you any trouble lately. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable in any way.”

“Did Keith talk to you?” His heart leapt into his throat. Shiro was going to murder him in cold blood.

“Nah, I just realized I’ve been distant.”

The conversation ended there, and Keith was eternally grateful to Lance. He would have to tell him as much some day. He added that to the list of things he owed Lance. It was growing too quickly for his liking.

After a few hours of sleep, Keith was woken by a blaring alarm. He groaned, knowing the sound all too well. It was what pulled them out of sleep every morning on the castle. They weren’t on the castle.

Keith bolted made eye contact with Shiro, who’s lion they had been sharing and ran to the cockpit. “Paladins!” Allura’s voice resonated loudly, “We are under attack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously Lance is not as fine as he looks. Don't fret the angst is coming back I swear. Keith is gonna be nicer and sweeter I promise... he's gotta hate Lance a little. I think Shiro's just confused.
> 
> Thank you for getting this far. <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is a really good distraction, even if his methods are a bit lacking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back again. Hello my friends, chapter three is here. Again, this is moving along faster than I ever expected it would and I am honestly blown away with the amount of people who have liked this fic. It means so much that someone is reading and actually enjoying my writing, so like, thank you I love you.
> 
> I thought about changing the ship again but I pretty much had some ideas set in stone, and like the tags are there so yeah... I think I'll stick with Klance for this particular fic. Although Shance would probably make more sense. I don't even know at this point.

_“We're almost home!” Pidge yelled loudly._

_Lance smiled fondly, “Just a few more ticks, Pigeon.”_

_She didn’t even acknowledge his use of the nickname. Lance’s smile grew significantly._

_“Your ‘Earth’ planet should be coming into view promptly. Just a few more ticks…”_

_Lance reflected upon his time in space. It was wonderful, but he didn’t seem to play an important role in Voltron. He was homesick beyond belief, further proving he was even less useful in a war. Maybe staying behind was a good idea. He wasn’t a respected member of the team, all he brought were jokes and lag time._

_“Useless,” Shiro had called him time and time again. Lance shook his head. That was Kuron, not Shiro. Shiro was kind and caring. He would never threaten a member of his team. Would he, though? Lance couldn’t trust any of his thoughts anymore. This could be another clone, another Kuron. Another chance to feel abandoned._

_Instead of moping around, Lance decided to focus on the fact that he was going home. Earth. His family. He stared forward determinedly, wanting nothing more than to curl up in his mothers arms and cry. He wanted to hug his siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews. Lance was more ready than he ever was to leave the cold void of space and return home._

_“Paladins,” Allura pilled him from his thoughts, “There seems to be an issue.”_

_“An issue?” Hunk sounded too panicky for Lance’s liking._

_“Hey, buddy, no, its probably nothing serious.”_

_“Actually, Lance, I believe it is,” He felt something in his chest squeeze painfully before Allura continued, “This is exactly where your galaxy should be.”_

  _Lance’s world crumbled. Instead of many planets, all he saw was rubble and scattered pieces of what was once his home. No, no, no, no, no, his worst fear was playing out before his eyes. Not only was his planet gone,_ rain _nonexistent, but his family was among the rubble. They were dead. All dead. No one left in the whole universe that loved him as much as they did. Lance was crying before he could stop himself._

_He began to stumble backwards until feeing a solid wall behind him. He wasn’t in Red anymore. Lance’s room in the castle was plain, aside from his bedding and a few souvenirs, but it was the right amount of him that he needed to stay sane. Shiro stood before him, Galra arm red in heat._

_“Are you crying again? What did I say about showing your weakness?” Shiro was stepping closer, “Don’t. It proves your even less of a paladin.”_

_Shiro hit him then, several times. Lance’s jaw had begun to bleed, and there was a burn on his stomach from the heated metal. His skin seemed to sizzle under the torrid metal. It became obvious quickly that Galra material heated up fast, and hot. It could withstand immeasurable temperatures that Earth metals were ultimately incapable of. The healing pods weren’t able to repair the damage to his skin done by Shiro’s hand, so scars in the shape of handprints littered his torso, arms, one or two even on his legs. Although those looked more like the brush of fingertips._

_After the long beating, Shiro left, satisfied. Lance only stumbled toward the med-bay, stepping into a healing pod and losing consciousness._  

∞

Instead of screaming, Lance blinked up at his ceiling. He would not cry because of this. Nightmares were an unwelcome weakness. A plague that infested his nights, sometimes days. Lance knew that every time he looked at Shiro all he would see were scars, bruises, blood. That didn’t make it any easier to be near him. 

After speaking with Keith, Lance understood that he couldn’t continue to avoid his problems. He had a conversation with Shiro, clearing up any misunderstandings, but that didn’t mean he was in any mind space to be around him comfortably. It took everything Lance had not to flinch every time Shiro’s eyes were trained on him specifically. Touching his leader was like putting his hand on a burner. Lance wanted to leave and never come back. 

He easily blamed himself for everything that happened with Shiro, just because he had some scars didn’t mean he hadn’t been at fault in this whole situation. Looking at Shiro was terrifying and mournful all at the same time. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry till all the water was out of his system. He wondered how long the would take.

Keith was correct, or course, he was avoiding everyone except Hunk, because Hunk. It needed to end this behavior as soon as possible before anyone suspected. He had to deal with this weakness alone. Everyone else had their own problems, his were insignificant; he wasn’t important enough to deal with. Lance walked into the cockpit and slumped onto seat. He looked at the sleeping form of Kaltenecker and suppressed a smile. He loved that cow.

Lance realized after a few ticks that there was absolutely no way he was seeing Earth disappear again. It was two A.M. castle time, so he had the morning to burn. Lance grabbed his sketch book and began to draw an outline of Keith. He loved drawing Keith’s hair, body, face. What could he say, Keith was easy to put onto paper. A masterpiece awaiting to be remembered in pen. Lance grabbed the colored pencils he ‘stole’ from Coran. He was going to be here for a long time.

∞

An alarm blared through the room, removing Lance from his art. The time read 9:48 A.M. castle time. Huh, Lance thought that the castle alarms were earlier than that… they had to train and eat breakfast in the dining hall and—they weren’t on the castle.

“Paladins!” Was that Allura? “We are under attack.”

Lance had never dropped anything so swiftly in his life. Hiding his materials quickly, Thoughts ran through the paladin's mind. _Were the Galra here? Weren’t they at enough peace for the time being?_ He wasn’t ready for another war with those monsters. Maybe Lotor had a long lost brother. A fourth cousin twice removed. Lance decided to voice his opinion, “By who? I thought we were on a peaceful planet!”

“By the inhabitants themselves. Coran, we really need to update our technology on the hostility of planets in the universe.” 

“I apologize, Princess,” Coran mumbled quickly, “But we must worry about the problem at hand. If we use our lions, chaos will break loose. The Vor seem to be holding their resources back. Using our weapons will cause chaos.”

“Alright, but Paladins, be careful. We do not have healing pods this time.”

“Princess,” Lance quipped, “Careful is my middle name.”

“Lance, this is serious.” Keith. _Ouch,_ Lance thought to himself.

“Yeah, alright. What’s the status? How are we going to win without causing mass destruction?”

“Well, our goal is to leave the planet, a war would not be appreciated. Seeing that the lions are tied down, we need to cause a distraction while someone else figures out how to get them out from under the ropes… they seem to me made of metal, almost like a chain,” Shiro reasoned.

Keith groaned, “How do we cause a large enough distraction that even the guards around the ropes leave? I can cut those off, by the way.”

“Keith, I can assist. Hunk and Pidge see if you can find a way to lower the lions’ barriers quickly enough to leave the planet untouched. Lance, I need you to be the distraction.”

Of course he was the distraction. That was all he was ever good for. Distracting. “Yeah, Shiro sounds good. I am going to distract them _so good_. 

“ _Lance_ ,” It was a collective hiss, which made him smile. He could do this.

“I’ll come from behind. Wait! Kaltenecker is here. Have the Vor ever seen a cow?”

“Just make it quick, Lance!”

“On it.”

Lance tuned his team out then, focusing on causing a ruckus. He was good at this. Lance grabbed Kaltenecker by the collar and brought her behind a rock a little away from his lion. Red’s behind wasn’t being actively guarded so he left through a back exit. Tying a red cloth around Kaltenecker’s neck he took a deep breath. Time to risk his life. Okay, maybe that was dramatic, but let a man live.

“Ay _Vor_ ,” Lance was shouting at the top of his lungs, “Ever seen a cow?”

A few soldiers approached him carefully. Not enough. He needed the lions to be much less guarded, and for the leftovers not to be shooting the barrier.

“It is by far the most feared weapon on Earth. Altea. You name it.” This attracted some of the stray soldiers. Now to get the guards to leave. 

“I let go, and all hell breaks loose.” Now he was talking. There were around two guards per lion, so he figured Keith and Shiro could deal with those quietly.

“You are bluffing,” One of the inhabitants said in a monotonous voice. 

“Try me.” Lance assured just as cooly.

Time was passing too slowly. He heard encouragements from his teammates. “Almost done,” and “Just a few more ticks!”. Lance was losing his mojo. The Vor were getting anxious. He used all of the tricks up his sleeve. He rang the new bell around her neck, waved the red cloth around, and obviously threatened to let go. His options were running low. The distraction itself wasn’t actually practical at all, but the Vor seemed to be an ignorant species and he didn’t see the use in blowing anything up. They were also quite small, and cute.

“Lance, we’ve removed the binding. Finish up." 

“Well,” Lance’s voice boomed eagerly, “Hate to leave you like this, but I’m going to bounce.”

Lance began to run, pulling Kaltenecker along with him. _Come on buddy_ , his thoughts rang through his mind, _Faster, faster, faster_.

The first punch was felt a few seconds after he started running. Tackling him to the ground, the three Vor screeched, “He was lying!”

Lance bounced up from the ground and brought out Alfor’s sword. He was going to have to do this the hard way. Popping the joints in his neck, Lance began to fend off some of the arrows that attempted to puncture his skin. One of the aliens came behind his back, cutting his shoulder with small, but unbelievably sharp nails. More surrounded him, finding ways do get at his skin. Punches, nails, arrows. Lance had enough. Screw Coran and his peace.

Lance began to fight as he did any other alien his size. He was doing well until one of the Vor transformed. _Shit_ , he realized belatedly. He was going to have to make a run for it. Thankfully Kaltenecker had made it inside of the Red lion already, Hunk had seen to that.

He ran as if everyones lives depended on it. Lance ignored the burning sensation all over his body, it was too familiar.

_“Aw, scared? Is that why you’re running?” Shiro’s eyes bore into his soul, making him believe every word that had ever been said to him. More punches, more blood._

Lance stumbled, and felt an alien pulling at his arms, digging deep into his once perfect skin. The first alien held him down as more came to hit him. He didn’t see the point in writhing after a few moments, instead hanging limp in the alien’s arms. He soon felt himself being dropped, a small battle around him. He managed to sit up, mind swirling. Suddenly a large hand was shaking his shoulders, telling for him to run. He stood up mechanically and did as they ordered, finding himself in his cockpit with Keith holding the seat next to him. He was yelling angrily to _move._ Lance did so.

_∞_

Once all of the lions were far from that particular solar system, they landed on a truly, for sure, triple-checked, a million percent uninhabited, peaceful planet. Lance was drained. Absolutely, positively, unquestionably drained of the small amount of energy had left.

“Lance? Lance,” Was that worry coming from Keith? Lance cracked an eye open at the thought. His body hurt. “Shiro, come in here. Lance, can I take your shirt off? I have to see—“

“No,” he snapped all to quickly. There was that hidden energy. “I’m fine, promise. Just let me go to my room.”

“Lance…” that was Shiro’s voice. No, Shiro wasn’t allowed to see. Keith was on the border, but if lance saw the expression of shock on Shiro’s face he wouldn’t be able to hold back the outburst of tears. “Let me see.” 

Somehow, Lance managed to stand up, only to tilt into Keith’s strong arms. “Look, guys, I’m fine, really. Some rest would do me good. No one is seeing my hot abs today.” 

Keith looked as if he were about to argue, but Shiro seemed to snap out of something before nodding his head in defeat. “Yeah, okay. Keith and I can walk you to your room. We’ll stay until you fall asleep.”

Lance was about to come up with a million arguments to why that _wasn’t_ a good idea, but he felt the pull of exhaustion at his bones once again. He really wanted to sleep. Keith and Shiro carried most of his weight to the bed, but by then he was barely conscious. He was out before his head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so that was chapter 3, I hoped it was satisfying. The next chapter will be Shiro's perspective, probably some of his memories returning just makng him more confused.
> 
> Ily all, thank you for reading my trash <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro is seeing visions of Lance that shouldn't be there. What if they were real?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooooook, whoa, holy shit. People are reading what I write what the fuck is going on. I can't believe people read past the first two sentences. People actually liking it means so much to me as an author and a person. Thank you.
> 
> Aside from my astonishment, I have written another chapter! This one is a bit shorter than the others, but it's the beginning of fun. I want to torture all of you with slow burn, but i honestly don't know how long I can torture myself, so we'll have to see.
> 
> Enjoy this addition to madness.

   Shiro (as a self proclaimed professional hider of feelings), was not one to worry about social interactions much, but Lance’s case was another. What Keith couldn’t seem to grasp was the truth that Lance _hadn’t_ in fact been his right hand man, he had been Kuron’s. Following orders from a clone, trusting a fluke, putting his life on the line for someone who would never return the favor. All of his hard work was put to nothing when the clone was revealed. Shiro wanted to make it clear to Lance that nothing was his fault. When he had called out in the Astral Plane, he only wanted Lance to know. To be ready for the trouble ahead of him and make sure no one else was hurt in the process. There was nothing he could have done to prevent the inevitable, so Shiro didn’t see the need in stressing about it as much as Lance was. He needed to make sure those words came from him to Lance personally.

After finishing with the binding, Shiro ordered for Lance to finish up whatever he was doing to distract the Vor, and fly his lion out of danger. That plan evidently went to hell when the aliens transformed into larger humanoid beasts and attacked the Red Paladin. Shiro had noticed Lance stumble, which had caused the whole ruckus in the first place. _Come on Lace, Fight back!_ What was he going to do with the lanky teenager on his hands? Shiro had only begun voicing an order to Keith, before finding him slicing through thick alien skin.

From a distance, the amount of prodding Keith had to do for Lance to rouse was visible, and not by any means ideal. Anxiety spiking, a shiver ran down his spine. Lance couldn’t get hurt on this mission, he wasn’t allowed to do that to him. Before his thoughts could spiral further down, Lance rose and ran as if nothing else mattered. It didn’t.

The two paladins made it into Red, before Shiro heard a pleading voice, “Lance, come on, move,” Keith sounded as if he were about to burst into tears. “We don’t have time to find out if Red will let me pilot her!”

Before Shiro had even started thinking about all the horrible bruises and cuts on Lance’s body, his lion was in the air, following the rest of team Voltron. Shiro released a long breath he dandy realized he was holding. They were going to be okay.

“Coran, _make sure_ that the next planet we land on is uninhabited. We may need to take another break for a few days.”

“On it, Number One,” Coran chirped, “I’ll run it by some modern Galra technology on Lotor’s old ship.”

∞

Flying to the new planet was peaceful, which Shiro was grateful for. If Lance was on autopilot, which he didn’t doubt for a tick, turbulence would do no good. Once they were safely situated in a circle of lions on their new stop, Shiro heard Keith’s words over the comms, “Shiro, get in here. Lance, can you take your shirt off…“

Shiro didn’t hear the rest because he was plummeting out of his lion with every intention of barging into Lance’s. Before Shiro could say anything, he realized that Lance looked as if he had seen the end of the world and barely managed to scrape through. The insurmountable amount of bruises and swollen skin made Shiro’s heart ache. Then, suddenly, that turned into a different feeling.

_Lance was on the floor, pulling at his hair. It looked as if someone had hurt him, but Shiro didn’t feel worried, or anything close to care. “You little shit. Can’t do anything right.”_

Shiro was shaken from his short immobilization when Lance refused to take his shirt off once again. He made another attempt at getting Lance to show his injuries, when Lance practically fell onto Keith’s chest. Instead of arguing, he complied, nodding his head in favor of getting Lance to rest. The kid looked like he needed it.

Shiro was on the verge of pulling lance into a bridal carry by the time they made it to the stairs. He was barely coherent, groaning quietly whenever they moved him the wrong way. Keith mumbled an apology every time, even though Lance was unconscious long before they settled him into bed. Walking into the room, he saw Keith withhold a smirk. Lance had piled every spare blanket and pillow in the castle onto a mound that he must’ve called his bed. They carefully deposited their sleeping friend into the cocoon, until Lance’s head was the only part of his body visible.

Shiro and Keith sat there for much longer than they told Lance they would; no way they were leaving this wreck of a body alone. It gave Shiro some time to think over what he saw. Was that his voice he had heard? Why didn’t he feel worried in the slightest? Watching Lance’s swollen face brought a sense of familiarity that Shiro did not appreciate in any way. The face poking out of the pillows was not something that needed to be a regular occurrence. Damn, he wished they had healing pods right about now.

Thinking about what he saw, Shiro decided to leave Keith with Lance with the intention of speaking to Hunk. If anyone knew about what Shiro had seen it would be that beautiful man.

“Key, Keith?”

“Hm?” Keith didn’t look up from Lance’s peaceful face.

“I have to talk to Hunk… would you mind looking after Lance for a bit?”

“Mhm."

Shiro left, sparing one last glance at Keith, who looked like there was nothing in the universe that was going to remove him from Lances side. Shiro smiled fondly. He barely made it up the staircase before noticing Hunk and Pidge.

“Shit, Shiro, is he okay?” Pidge looked terrified.

“Yeah, he’s sleeping. Language. Go check his blanket burrito.”

“Thanks Shiro,” Hunk looked relieved.

“Actually, Hunk, could I speak with you?”

“Yeah, man, of course. Is anything bothering you? You look bothered.”

“Did Kuron ever do anything to Lance?”

“What do you mean?” Hunk was suddenly very serious. It proved how much he cared for his best friend.

“Did he every say anything to make Lance feel unwelcome?”

“All the time.” Shiro’s heart plummeted. He hoped it was only a vision, not a flashback. Not again.

“What do you mean?”

“Shiro… Kuron was an ass. At least to Lance, he was. Adored Keith, though. He said things to Lance that never should have even crossed his mind. Blew him off in missions because ‘Lance is incapable’. I don’t think it got further than words, thankfully. Lance never mentioned any physical harm, and I know he would have told me if there was.” 

Now his shoulders slumped in relief. Kuron had never touched Lance. It was okay. Words, he could fix. He could etch new ones into his mind, but physical harm… that took more than reassurance. It took more than Shiro was prepared for. If Lance got to that point though, Shiro would do anything to make him feel accepted and loved. He would make sure that his colleague _knew_ that there was no threat. Nothing could hurt him while he was around Shiro, the man himself would see to it.

“Uh, thanks Hunk. You helped more than you can ever imagine. Any tips on how to make it up?”

“I don’t think that you’re the problem, Shiro. He is. His leader was a clone, who only ever spoke fondly about Keith. He needs to prove his worth compared to every other paladin. He probably blames himself for your death, which would explain why he avoided you now that I think about it. Talk to him. He likes words, man.”

“Okay… thank you again, Hunk.”

“No problem, dude. Do you need help with anything else?”

Shiro hesitated before shaking his head. The vision could be dealt with another time.

Upon entering the room with Hunk, Shiro felt the creeping sensation of a flashback once again.

_“I’m sorry, I wont. I didn’t mean to, I swear.” Lance’s same bruised face was peering up at him mournfully._

Shiro concluded that Lance’s recovery would be a long, long ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this fic is a largely a free flowing mess of words. Actally most of what I write is just ideas put down onto the computer resulting in a very unpredictable story. I honestly don't know how long this will be, or how much more complicated I am going to make it, because I've got some ideas up my sleeve.
> 
> Enjoy this mess, ly <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's perspective on the aftermath of battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We back, baby. I felt that Keith's perspectice was kind of necessary, so here you go. This chapter isn't too eventful, which I regret, but the next one will be. I'm like too eager to put my ideas down. Hope you like this chapter!

Keith was running toward Lance before he realized what was going on. Nothing was going to happen to his… friend. Not today. Keith ran faster than he ever had in his life, drawing his sword as the world rushed by. He didn’t know what was happening around him until alien blood was spattered on the ground. There was going to be a long conversation between him and Coran about the word _peaceful_. Couldn’t they have some normal rest?

Lance was attempting to sit up by the time Keith had made to him, but he looked dreadful. The parts of his body he could see were covered in bruises, but no doubt there were more under the suit.

Putting a hand on his shoulder Keith yelled, “Lance, come on, we have to run. Now.”

He began to shake his shoulder, making any attempt at rousing Lance. It seemed to be working because he very suddenly shot up and ran. Keith had no time to cheer about his success, before more Vor were making their way over to them. Time passed too slowly as Keith grabbled Lance’s elbow, pulling him along faster. They had to get to his old lion before anything bad happen, because Keith would never forgive himself if Lance was badly hurt. He realized too late that they had no idea if Red would let him pilot her.

Keith was on the verge of blowing this whole planet up by the time they made it to Red, Lance looked completely out of it. He was swaying as if any more movement was going to send him toppling to the ground. Guiding his friend carefully to the pilot’s seat, Keith began to nudge him, forcing the boy to look up from his hands.

“Lance, come on, move,” Keith was ready to fall apart. Lance didn’t seen to understand a word coming from his mouth. “We don’t have time to figure out if Red will let me pilot her!”

With no immediate response, Keith began to panic. How bad did these aliens screw Lance up? He may have had a concussion, and that was less than ideal. Lance had stumbled earlier, right after the Vor had transformed, had they made a blow to his head? Every worst possibility went through Keith’s head, making it spin. This could go horribly wrong, resulting in a serious head injury, infection, so much more. Keith was not about to allow that.

“Lance, please. _Move_.” He was two ticks away from throwing Lance from the seat and begging Red to let him pilot her, but the paladin snapped out of his trance and flew off of the dreadful planet, following the Black Lion. Keith heard Shiro talking to Coran about finding a peaceful planet, but none of that mattered anymore. Lance was safe, he was okay.

Their journey to a new resting area wasn’t long, but it felt like a millennia. Lance hadn’t said a word, hadn’t even twitched once. It looked as if he had done this before, as if this wasn’t a new concept. Keith didn’t like that look one bit. Lance wasn’t supposed to look like he knew how to handle the aftermath of a beating, he was supposed to joke around, laugh, assure Keith that everything was okay. Right now, Keith would kill to hear Lance’s voice complain about the situation.

He commenced the action of taking Lance’s armor off, realizing that the pilot hadn’t even noticed. Keith was pulling at plate after plate, making sure not to hurt him in the process. Lance was wearing the long-sleeved undershirt, which was soaked with sweat. Keith tried not to think about pulling that shirt off and cleaning Lance up himself, that wasn’t the point here. It didn’t look as if any skin under the armor was punctured, because no blood was immediately showing. He was going to have to talk to Lance about taking his clothes off.

“Lance?” He started, “Lance.” He touched his shoulder lightly and found the boy blinking up at him. Keith sighed, relieved. His pupils were normal. Turning his communication with Black on he called out, “Shiro, come in here.”

Changing his attention back to Lance, Keith winced. He looked as if a truck had hit him.He was terrified to find out what horrors his clothes hid. “Lance,” he tried carefully, “Can I take your shirt off? I have to see—“

“No,” Lance sounded terrified, he shook slightly, “I’m fine, promise. Just let me go to my room.”

Shiro entered the cockpit, and paled visibly. “Lance… let me see.”

Keith stared down at Lance expectantly. If he were going to listen to anyone, Shiro would be that person. Instead, Lance shook harder, making a valiant attempt to stand up. Keith caught him before he callable onto the ground. “Look guys, I’m fine, really.” Keith scoffed. “Some rest would do me good. No one is seeing my hot abs today.”

Pretending not to blush at the last comment, Keith opened his mouth to tell Lance that, no, he was not okay by any means. They were going to pinpoint what was causing him so much pain. Instead, Shiro nodded his head in understating and voiced quietly, “Yeah, okay.”

Keith’s jaw dropped. He was going to let this slide? Lance was inn obvious pain and Shiro was letting it go as if that wasn’t a factor in the problem.

“Keith and I can walk you to your room. We’ll stay until you fall asleep.”

Well, at least he agreed with that statement, although he was going to stay much longer than the time it took for Lance to fall asleep. He figured that wouldn’t even be a tick.

They both began to pull the Red Paladin around into a comfortable carry, but he was losing energy. The outburst must have been his last ounce. When did Lance have time to lose so much? Dragging him down the stairs was a task. Every time they moved the wrong way, Lance let out a low moan which made Keith want to rip his hair out. He was obviously out of it, and moving was not helping him in any way.

Upon entering the room, Keith suppressed a laugh. This was where all the blankets went? All of that searching for a fluffy pile the size of nearly ten Lance’s. Moving a few of the pillows in the middle, Keith took the blanket hog from Shiro’s grip and carefully settled him down onto the mound. Pulling a burrito up around Lance, he made sure that the only part of his body visible was the face. Keith found the position endearing, aside from the bruises. Stopping those thoughts before they could go any further, Keith shook his head. He wasn’t about to scare one of his best friends away because he found him attractive, it wasn’t going to happen. Lance was into girls, he made that very clear with the amount of flirting done.

After a while, Shiro said he needed to speak with Hunk, but Keith only looked into Lance’s face and made some affirmative noises. He wasn’t going to go anywhere. As if on cue, he heard Pidge and Hunk’s voices responding to Shiro’s, but what caught his attention was the way he was talking to Hunk. He seemed stressed, unattached to the world around him. Sharing a glance with Pidge, they stepped toward the staircase. He had to know what was bothering his brother.

Their listening started a but late, so all they heard was Hunk’s solemn voice, “What do you mean?”

It was terrifying to see Hunk so serious, so ready to jump at anyone coming for his friend.

“Did he ever say anything to make Lance feel unwelcome?” Who was ‘he’? What did Shiro mean? Lance was always welcome, he was their jokester, the one who kept the team together like glue.

“All the time.” _All the time_? This had to be a joke. Pidge seemed to understand exactly what was going on, she stared mournfully at the ground. Keith was about to flip a table. Whoever had hurt Lance would get words from him. Lots and lots of words.

“What do you mean?” Shiro was voicing Keith’s question.

“Shiro… Kuron was an ass.” _Kuron_? Thats what this was about, wasn’t it? Hunk continued carefully, “At least to Lance, he was. Adored Keith, though.” _What?_

Hunk sighed sadly, “He said things to Lance that never should have even crossed his mind. Blew him off in missions because ‘Lance is incapable’. I don’t think it got further than words, thankfully. Lance never mentioned any physical harm, and I know he would have told me if there was.”

Kuron should have been glad he wasn’t there with Keith at that moment, because running a sword through his abdomen sounded nice.

“Uh, thanks Hunk. You helped more than you can ever imagine. Any tips on how to make it up?” Keith was going to be there for Lance, he promised himself as much.

“I don’t think that you’re the problem, Shiro. He is. His leader was a clone, who only ever spoke fondly about Keith. He needs to prove his worth compared to every other paladin. He probably blames himself for your death, which would explain why he avoided you now that I think about it. Talk to him. He likes words, man.”

Lance _did not_ need to prove his worth to anyone. He was an amazing paladin. Keith was glad he got Lance to talk to all of them more, otherwise it didn’t seem like he would have ever left his hole.

“Okay, thank you again, Hunk.”

“No problem, dude. Do you need help with anything else?”

Pidge and Keith stumbled next to Lance’s bedside before Shiro came in. He couldn’t see that that had been listening, no one on the ship would hear the end of it. Allura and Coran came in next. The Altean man wanted to check over Lance’s injuries, but Keith suggested to do so when he was awake. He didn’t want to see what angry Lance looked like just yet. Keith was content with watching his slow breathing because everything was going to be okay.

∞

Lance had been asleep for hours, the people in the room filtering by the minute. Hunk left to make food for all of them, because no one had eaten in far too long. Pidge was fixing some the Altean technology with the Galra to make sure that finding peaceful planets was much easier. Coran and Allura were with her to make sure that she didn’t change something that wasn’t supposed to change. Shiro seemed to be uncomfortable every time he entered the room, so his time in the room was kept to an obvious minimum which was understandable. Keith knew Shiro must have felt guilty in a way for what happened, which Keith would assure him was not his fault later. At the moment, he was busy watching Lance sleep. Nothing was going to hurt Lance while he were here. He’s make sure that Lance didn’t even stir if the galra shot an ion cannon at this lion. 

With their time alone, Keith began to think about his attraction to Lance. He had actually liked him at the Garrison, but those dreams were crushed when he saw how much Lance flirted with the opposite gender. When he mentioned knowing him, Keith blew it off and implied that a cargo was not good enough to know a fighter pilot like him. Their ‘rivalry’ only grew after that moment. He suppressed his feelings because it was obvious that Lance would never be into him, but that never meant he didn’t care. Lance wasn’t sad often, or at lease he didn’t show it, but when he was it took Keith pinching himself not to hug him and tell him everything was okay. He was okay.

Getting angry often made it hard for Keith to connect with others. He always assumed the worst about people, no matter how kind or caring they were. He did the same thing to Lance, causing problems that never should have existed.

There was an announcement through the lions for them all to meet in Red for a moment. Allura had an proposition to make.

“Paladins, it appears this solar system is unbelievably close to a large space mall. Seeing that Lance is immobile at the moment, we will stay here. When he is ready to pilot again, our next stop is the mall. Coran and I have some healing cream for when he wakes up, which should help with the bruising. Hunk needs supplies for food, and we all need a fun vacation. We don’t have to be there for long, but it would be nice to have a good time.”

Keith agreed more than he ever has in his life. They all needed a piece of home right about now, and the space mall was just that. He fell asleep at Lance’s bedside after a few more hours, his slumber peaceful on the mound of pillows.

He woke up the morning after with Lance’s face peering down at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so the next chapter will be in Lance's perspective. It's gonna be fun, let me tell you. I think. Lance is a rebel.
> 
> I'm still debating some of the reveal moments just because there are so many ways that things could happen. Oh, this chapter isn't really edited so yeah... I might come back later.
> 
> Thanks for being here <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance doesn't feel like himself, so he decides to change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, if im being completely honest here this chapter probably went a little far. I had to drag people into helping me because I didn't know what would make it perfect.
> 
> Aside from that, a lot happens. I kinda wanted Lance to have some fun before the angst came back, so this is what came out. Prepare yourselves. I'm sorry in advance.

Lance woke up slowly, thanking everything he could for the fact that there were no nightmares. Actually, now that he thought about it, he wasn’t tired. If it wasn’t for the fact that every inch of his body hurt, he would have considered it the best day of his life. That thought slowed to a halt when he saw Keith asleep next to him. Why was he here? Not that Lance was complaining, he always had something for the raven haired boy, but that didn’t excuse him sleeping on the best bed in the universe next to him.

Thinking back to why he was here, Lance remembered the day before with dread. His hand came to his shirt, making sure no one had taken it off or bandaged anything. To his complete relief, all of the gross and grimy clothes were intact on his body. Thanking Keith for saving him was the something he was going to do when that man woke up.

Lance stared down at the sleeping form next to him, thinking about how peaceful he looked. Not angry, sad, or even serious. His face was neutral, which made him look so much cuter. Keith was always good looking, but seeing him calm was a new side that he was completely okay with.

Lance stood up slowly, making sure that Keith wasn’t roused, and realized too late that every molecule in his body still hurt. He wasn’t used to the feeling of pain waking up, they had healing pods to remedy that dreadful side effect. Looking around his room, Lance found a canister that Coran had thankfully labeled in English.

**Healing Cream**

Lance was grabbing the small vial the moment he saw the word healing, and thanked Dios for Alteans. This must’ve been what Shiro had used. He walked into the second room located in Red’s large underbelly, which Lance used as his walk in closet, washroom, and privacy hole. He locked the door and stripped out of his disgusting clothes. There was a bathroom here, no shower though. Was a shower too much to ask for from an old Altean dude?

Grabbing a washcloth, Lance began to run warm water and soap all over his body. After that part was done, he rubbed the healing cream over every bruise, cut and scrape, resulting in perfectly beautiful skin after some amount of ticks. That was aside from his scars of course, which he noticed with dread now. There was actually only two full handprints, one of which was located on the lower left of his stomach. It was deeper and a little more pronounced than the others, because Shiro had pinned him against a wall. Lance ran a hand over it, before focusing his attention on a smaller scar, or should he say scars, on his right hip. There were three lines on his side, which could only be seen if Lance took his shirt off.

He shook with the memory as it played out in his mind.

∞

_Lance looked up at Shiro, who had evidently heated up his Galra arm. Since when could that happen? He didn’t have time to continue the thought before Shiro’s voice thundered around his room, “You complained about me?”_

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

_“I heard you talking to Hunk the other day, you believe I’m unfair to you?”_

_“No, Shiro, I’m so sorry.”_

_“You see, I don’t think that you are! You believe that I am treating you wrong, don’t you? Well, you’ll soon see what wrong really is.”_

_Lance ran as if his life depended on it. He really hoped it didn’t. Shiro was terrifying when he got like this. It was weird because all of it would disappear moments later, as if nothing happened, leaving Lance was left to fend for himself. He began to run faster when the tell tale sound of heavy footing thumped behind him. It was several moments before something flared up in Lance’s side._

_Shiro had_ burned _him, but it wasn’t a normal burn. If there was a scale that went over third degree, Lance thought this would pass. His skin has sizzled off as if it was never there, three angry red marks left as its remnants. And, man, did those marks burn._

_Lance stumbled dangerously, but kept running. Soon the familiar sound of Shiro’s boots disappeared, and Lance found himself in the med-bay. Popping himself into a healing pod, he hoped for the best._

∞

Galra technology had advanced enough to outsmart healing pods apparently, because that scar was still there, obvious on his tan skin. Lance sighed, focusing on washing his hair. He ran his long fingers through the thick strands under the sink, getting every inch of his head wet. After the grease was satisfyingly gone, he noticed how long his hair had gotten with his time in space. If he let that go on any longer he would have a mullet like Keith’s, and that was unacceptable.

Lance’s hair was naturally a mess of curls, but when he was younger some bully made fun of his hair and braces, so he began to submerge the mess in gel. All of his family told him that Lance was beautiful as the man he was, but he never believed them. He did so now, straitening out the unruly waves that covered his head. Lance didn’t feel like himself as he slipped his regular clothes on. He was a changed man now… the Lance that was standing in the mirror didn’t feel like who he was.

Walking back into his room, Lance jumped onto hid bed over Keith and waited for that mullet to wake up. The movement seemed enough to do so, because he had two round eyes staring up at him.

“Hey,” Lance chirped.

“Uh, hi. You seem happy?”

“I don’t feel like shit, so yeah. I guess that’s a plus.” Lance was, in fact still sore, but no way was he telling Keith as much.

“The Altean cream did some good, then?” Keith was sitting up now, eyebrows pulled up in question.

“Yeah,” Lance chuckled, “I was honestly afraid Coran had slipped some poison in there. I think Alteans have a different idea of words that mean ‘peace’.”

Keith smirked at that comment and asked, “So, you’re okay?”

“Yeah, dude. Of course I’m okay. What, got worried?” Lance winked at Keith, making the other man blush confusedly.

“Forget it.”

“Hey, no, don’t get like that. We were talking!”

“Uh-huh,” Keith began, rolling his eyes, “Either way, since you’re better now, Coran and Allura want to make a stop at this giant space mall. Its literally the nearest solar system, so the flight there should be nothing. We all need a vacation, and Hunk needs some food.”

Lance nodded, smiling, “Dude, we can do whatever we want for a whole day. The Alteans have never had a better idea.”

“I know, right?” Keith cracked a smile as well, “My knife collection is lacking.”

“Dude, no it’s not. You always say that.”

“Not the point.”

“I beg to differ. Get ready, Keith. I’m leaving as soon as possible and that bedhead of yours does not suit you.” That was a lie.

“Yeah, whatever. I’ll go warn the others.”

“Bye, sleepyhead.”

Lance heard the exasperated cry of “Are you _serious_?”, before looking back in the mirror.

He had the whole day to himself in a large space mall. Lance bet he could find something to make him feel more like himself. Definitely.

∞

It took much too long for Lance’s liking to get all the Paladins gathered, as well as the three Alteans on the ship. He realized too late that he hadn’t seen much of Romelle so far, which was sad. There was also Keith’s wolf, which lounged in the Black Lion most of the time.

By the time they were _finally_ on the way to the space mall, Lance was shaking with excitement. He would find a way to make him fee like himself at the mall if it killed him. The hair needed to go for sure. Maybe a piercing was in the picture! He was going to have a great time.

Once they landed on the platform, Lance took no time in running out of his lion yelling, “See you losers later!”

They all looked hesitant, but let him go anyways. This was go time.

Lance’s first stop was the barbershop. His hair was what made him feel like he was a different person. A version of Lance that wasn’t supposed to exist. He entered the least shady one, and saw a petite alien female standing at the desk.

“Uh, hello, madam.”

“‘ello,” she replied in a heavily accented voice.

“I need to change my hair.”

They spoke for a long while about what exactly Lance wanted to change about his hair. This was going to be perfect. The alien mentioned some extra technology for 40 GAC that kept his hair at the length he chose permanently and that he would have to come back or buy a remedying cream if he wanted it to grow. Lance eagerly agreed to her offer, opting for the cream so he wouldn’t need to deal with finding this mall in the future.

The alien washed Lance’s hair again, and brought the buzzer to his one side of his head. She and Lance had decided to go to go short on the sides and back of his head, and leave most of the length at the top. It seemed she was a master at the job, because when Lance was done, it looked better than he had ever imagined. His curls were pronounced with the new style, and he looked so much better. He could only stare as she began the procedure to keep it this way. He was suddenly very glad he payed the extra money for the procedure.

Lance was so happy with the result, he tipped her like twenty percent. His plan was rolling smoothly. What was his next stop, again? He wanted a piercing.

Those seemed to be scarce in the mall, but Lance found one, stopping in his tracks. Why were alien piercings so much _cooler_ than human ones? Metal pieces lined the wall, marked for different parts of alien bodies. He went to the ear section, already debating his options. He could go for a chain, but that wouldn’t be any help in a battle.

Lance ultimately decided on a scaffold piercing in his left ear. It was goal withbarely visible red and blue hues encrusted like waves. If someone looked hard enough, they would see that the indents moved slightly. On the ends were a mini lion head and paw, so Lance couldn’t think of anything more perfect than what he was seeing.

The shopkeeper was a large insect-looking-thingy with a friendly face. _Awww,_ was all that crossed Lance’s mind. They talked for a minute about the piercing itself, before the alien showed him where it was going to be.

The top of his ear was wet with alcohol before the alien ran a talon through the top of his ear, and placed the rod in. He capped it with the lion paw and sat back, satisfied with himself.

“Take a look,” The alien said with a smile. That was a smile, right?

“Oh my gosh, thank you so much,” Lance exclaimed, unable to hold his excitement in. He payed the alien generously and left for his next stop.

With this newfound urge to change his body, Lance thought back to his scars. It had meant so much so him when Shiro burned his skin for the first time, because a scar was permanent. Not something he could erase. Lance wanted to change the way it looked on his body; he was going to get a tattoo.

As expected, it look Lance around an hour before he found the perfect tattoo shop. Designs decorated the wall carefully, drawing a breath from Lance.

“How may I help you?” This alien was a tall man with tattoos covering almost every inch of skin visible. They were beautiful, and like his piercing, some of them moved. Lance was in love.

“I have these scars. From a while ago. I want to cover up or adorn a few of them, so when I look the feeling is not dread.”

The man nodded, as if he completely understood, “That is actually how I got my first tattoo, lad. I’m glad to hear you’re doing so. What are we thinking about, here?”

Lance didn’t want anything too enormous, so they looked at some smaller designs. One of the scars became a small knife, and the two surrounding it were integrated into the tattoo. Glass shards surrounded the center, different sized, which were personalized to Lances scars. The hilt of the center knife was a lion’s head opening slightly, leaving space for the blade. The tattoo was going to be just large enough to cover the scars, making it visible only without a shirt.

To his surprise, aliens had also managed to create a painless, swift appliance of tattoos. When the alien, who was named George (which Lance had almost laughed at, what a human name) had finished, Lance had thought it was only drawn. He tapped his shoulder to look in the mirror, to which Lance frowned, but complied. He was breathless. Every shard made his hip look much more badass than it was. The tattoo moved so slightly that he had to focus for a long time to see, but it was exactly what he wanted.

Hugging George, Lance payed him extra. Admittedly, he was being a bit too spendy, but it was his day. If he wasted one more quintant holed up in the Red Lion, he would truly go crazy. The moment he was back in there all the nightmares and visions would come flooding back: he would have to look at Shiro and be okay, talk to Keith as if nothing was wrong. This day was for himself. He had one more stop to make before this trip was over and man was he going to take advantage of that. Clothes.

There were many clothing shops in the mall, but Lance opted for the most Earth-like. He searched the long halls for something that suited his style. Turtlenecks were his favorite thing when Lance was younger, but he had stopped wearing them after another bully made fun of him for being a girl. He didn’t really believe the bully’s opinion mattered anymore, so Lance smirked as he pulled a blue one from the shelf. He paired the turtleneck with black skinny jeans, pulling his telltale jacket over everything. Something was missing. Looking through the accessaries, Lance found exactly what he needed. It was a far fetch, and Keith was sure to make fun of him, but he smiled as the fingerless gloves fit perfectly.

He payed at the register, throwing his old clothes into the disposal. Now he had to face his team, which Lance hadn’t thought about in advance. It was around thirty minutes past the meeting time, but he was happy with the results.

Walking toward his his lion, it took Lance everything in himself to ignore their reactions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I had to okay? Lance with a turtleneck is all I want in life. The hair and everything else was because I felt like Lance didnt really want to be seen as the happy go lucky teen anymore, and just overall he's a badass on the inside and that needs to be shown. Not sure yet who'se perspective the next chapter is in.
> 
> Also I realized that there are other people with them besides the original paladins, so I tried to fix that a bit.
> 
> ok, why are you still here <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro likes to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I'm Back. This chapter is in Shiro's perspective bacause it didn't feel like I did enough of that. There's really nothing to say about it... I mean I'm trying to keep all of the abuse under Shiro's nose, but not. If that makes sense? It doesn't, I know. 
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoy!

Shiro didn’t do much in the space mall because commotion wasn’t his thing. He would much rather read an alien novel in his lion, peacefully enjoying the scenery. Spending many of his days this way was something Shiro knew would never grow old. Peace was forgiving, and gave him time to think. When Lance had been asleep, visions and nightmares of his bruised figure lurked in the back of Shiro’s mind. It was terrifying to see the boy laying on his floor broken as he did nothing to help. The character in his nightmares didn’t even care what was happening to Lance, instead watching in cold silence as his teammate writhed on the floor.

When Lance had come out of his lion fully healed, Shiro breathed a sigh of relief; the bruised face etched in his mind was gone for a while. Although he didn’t doubt that the ‘visions’ would come back, he was glad to be rid of them for the time being. A part of Shiro knew that they were more than just dreams because the feeling of satisfaction running through his core every time Lance was looking up at him crushed was too terrifying. Hunk had told him that Kuron had never touched his friend, and the chef was an honest man. If there was any sign that Shiro’s counterpart had harmed Lance, Hunk would know.

_“Shiro, I didn’t know. I didn’t know, I promise! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Lance looked so torn apart that every muscle in the present Shiro tensed painfully. Kuron only smirked and shook his head._

_“Sure you are.”_

All of the visions were short and ended before anything revealing happened, which made Shiro angry. He wanted to know what was going on, but every time he tried his chance would slip away, leaving him with nothing.

It was hours before anything interesting happened, at which point the boy sprinting out of the Red Lion seemed too excited to be healthy. Shiro noticed that Lance’s hair had gotten longer, and wondered if he liked it that way. He was knocking on the Blue’s particle barrier, yelling that if Allura didn’t speed her ass up he would whup it. This ended up in a long conversation with the princess about manners, which was obvious fun and games. After, Lance had opted for talking with Romelle his good looks, to which the Altean laughed and changed the subject.

By the time the team made it to the space mall, Shiro was scrolling through alien book recommendations. There was bound to be a library in the mall, right? He settled on some Earth centered documentary with every intention to make great fun of their completely incorrect assumptions about the planet and its inhabitants. He thought for a moment about where the other paladin’s were headed.

Hunk, the culinary god, was going to find the best spices in space and create a masterpiece. He said something about pie, so Shiro was one hundred percent on board with the idea. Pidge was in technology heaven as she was going so purchase laptops, computers and… Shiro wasn’t too into technology so he didn’t know. Coran wanted nunville, so that was his first stop. Shiro lightly suspected that Coran was going to do a lot more with the drink than was necessary, which he wasn’t going to judge. The Altean women said something about old customs that needed to be reborn, which Shiro was very interested in.

Keith was obviously on his way to the nearest knife shop before they had even said the word mall. His little bro had acquired an addiction that needed to be curbed at some point, but for the moment it was okay. Keith was funny when he got really excited, because it meant that he smiled. Keith didn’t smile unless knives or really, _really_ sappy feelings were involved. Thats right, Mr. Brood was a sticky wad of sap on the inside.

Lance had only shrugged all of the teams questions off, saying that he was going to have a fun day for himself.

“We _know_ that, dude,” Hunk sighed, exasperated, “What are you going to do?”

“ _I_ don't know yet Hunk, I guess you’ll all find out in a while.”

Keith frowned in response, but shrugged. They all deserved this day to themselves, so everyone was going to make the best of their time. They had all agreed for a meeting time in six vargas, which was enough time to do practically anything. Shiro was walking slowly to the library, which was enormous, so instead of reading in his lion he was going to lay on one of the immense couches and enjoy his day there. Setting a time for five vargas, Shiro began his book.

∞

The alarm blared loudly, causing the librarian to give Shiro such a glare that it horrified him. Even as a paladin of Voltron. He bolted from the library and into the safety of Black, who comforted his beating heart. Shiro laughed at himself loudly before waiting for the others to arrive. Hunk and Coran had come back together, discussing some authentic dishes that could be made with the new, interesting spices. Hunk was pushing along about the largest cart of food Shiro had ever seen in his life. They were going to have to prepare themselves for the creations labeled incorrectly as plain ‘food’.

The Altean women arrived next, with flower crowns and baskets of the same plant in each hand. They were a rich pink color, with a distinguishable smell. The flowers looked similar to the ones in the simulation back on the ship, which Shiro assumed was no coincidence. The women also wore long gowns, which could only be identified as royal robes, including pink which decorated the dress’s curves elegantly.

Keith and Pidge showed up together as well, showing their new findings off to each other. Keith had gotten enough knives to provide for a small army, and Pidge enough technology to hack the Galra singlehandedly. Not that she hadn’t done so before, but the point was made. Keith looked happier than he had in a while, which made Shiro satisfied with how the day went. The only person who hadn’t shown up yet was Lance.

They all gathered together, waiting for him to make an appearance. If Shiro was beingcompletely honest, he was relived the boy hadn’t come yet. It was much past their meeting time, and the rest of the team was slowly getting angrier, but he didn’t know if he was ready to see Lance again. He wanted to make sure that whatever he was going through went away and never came back. He wanted to live a normal life, and seeing his friend brought the feelings all back. Not that he didn’t want to be around Lance, but the fact that every time he laid eyes on the boy was hell became a slight problem.

Shiro still had to fix everything that went wrong with Kuron, which he was more than eager to do. This blame that Lance put on himself was unaccepted when it came to the leader of Voltron. His right hand man was going to understand the meaning of his job. He was going to realize his worth.

“Man, does Lance even know what time _is_?” Pidge complained.

Keith replied grouchily, “Not that I know of. When has he ever been on time?”

“Ooh, that depends,” Hunk began, “He is never late to a date. Like, ever. Always keeps his word when it comes to a significant other.”

“Are we not significant enough?” Keith grumbled before catching himself, “Not that I need to be, I just—“

Shiro cut him off this time, “Keith, buddy, chill. We knew what you meant.”

“Oh.”

Coran twirled his mustache quietly before adding, “If I ask Number Three for help he is always there on time!”

“Now that I think about it, Lance is often on time for any of my requests,” Allura voiced proudly. She was about to continue when Hunk cut her off.

“Uh, guys…”

No one needed to hear more before turning in the direction Hunk was looking. Shiro’s jaw dropped. Was that Lance walking toward them? He looked older and more mature. His hair made that all to clear. Since when was is so curly? The cut defined his features perfectly, which was what made him look like a new man. His clothes were new, and suited every part of him perfectly. The turtleneck was long enough to cover his neck, but not too much that it was a bother. Lance looked as if he had never been more at peace with himself.

As the teenager walked forward, Shiro noticed something on his ear. Was that a _piercing_? Snapping his jaw shut was difficult, due to the amount of changes Lance had gone through. He looked like a new person. One who could become so angry it was spine-chilling, or so excited it would make anyone laugh.

Lance looked at all of them anxiously, eyes lingering on Shiro’s. Clearing his throat before speaking, he mumbled a quiet, “Hey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooook, so, the next chapter is going to be in Keiths perspective. Spicy, I know. I don't think it will go all the way back to entering the mall again bacause that's too boring for me.
> 
> Thanks for actually getting this far lmao <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has some inner feelings that need to be sorted out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically just Keith's reaction to Lance's transformation. We're getting closer to fun, I promise, but not yet. I'm letting the story play out a bit before I begin torturing out poor children.

“Man,” Pidge fumed, “Does Lance even know what time _is_?”

Keith thought for a moment about every time Lance had been late to a meeting because of his ‘facial routine’. “Not that I know of. When has he ever been on time?”

“Ooh, that depends. He is never late to at date. Like, ever. Always keeps his word when it comes to a significant other.”

This made Keith perk up. If he and Lance were to date, he would never miss the time? He then remembered that Lance was into girls, and instead retorted, “Are we not significant enough?”

_Shit, I said that out loud._

“Not that I need to be, I just—“

Shiro looked as if he was on the verge of laughter before adding, “Keith, buddy, chill. We knew what you meant.”

“Oh,” Was all Keith could muster before turning away and hiding his blush. No one could know he was blushing because they would accuse him of liking Lance, only to make fun of him. They would tell him, and Keith’d get rejected in the worst way possible. Lance was strait, that was clear.

Coran added his piece to the conversation stating that Lance was never late for anything he asked him to do. _Good for you, Coran. Good for you._ Keith was not jealous. Nope. He bet that if his request was serious and proposed by himself, Lance would totally help out. _On time._ There would be no tardiness or anything. Yeah, he was definitely not jealous of Coran. Never.

“Now that I think about it, Lance is often on time for any of my requests,” Allura beamed. Oh, no. Of course Lance was on time for _Allura_. He had the biggest crush on the woman. She was perfect, technically speaking. Keith could see that she was beautiful, but his attraction to men, and only men, polluted his vision when it came to women’s looks. They were pretty, but not attractive.

Lance was obviously in love with Allura from all the flirting that was done, so Keith needed to back off. If he thought he was jealous of Coran, Allura was going to murder him inside. She got all of the beautiful male’s attention, leaving close to none for Keith. He was stuck watching from afar as Lance flirted, joked, and had fun with the Altean. Arguably, this was all his fault due to the amount of brooding dome by him, but he was content blaming his friend. That seemed safer.

Allura opened her mouth to reply with another arrogant comment, but was cut off by Hunk’s soft voice. “Uh, guys.”

It took Keith a moment to turn around, because he couldn’t pinpoint what Hunk was staring at. Looking over his shoulder, he couldn’t see what his friend was talking about. Searching the crowd for answers, it came to him. A man was walking toward their group. There was a word on the tip of Keith’s tongue that he could use to describe this human, but it didn’t come to him until moments later. _Gorgeous._

Lance looked like he never had in his life. Curly locks lined his face, and accentuated his features in ways Keith couldn’t explain. The perfectly lined undercut made him want to crawl in a small hole and rot. His perfect jaw was visible now, as well as dark eyes that were so blue it was hard to see. Keith’s thoughts came back to the curly hair now. Had Lance gotten a perm? Since when had it become so wavy? It suited him too well to be unnatural. Lance looked like he was finally at peace with who he was. This was only from his hair and eyes, but there was so much more. Too much more.

A shiver ran down his spine as Keith noticed the piercing. No, no, no he had _always_ had an uncontrollable attraction to piercings. Lance had gotten a scaffold piercing, making him want to burst into tears. Why did he get to go and get all how with his new hair and piercing? It wasn’t even an earring, no, it was a unique _scaffold piercing_ with a lion head and paw capping it. Was that red and blue he saw in the gold? The barely visible tendrils circled around the deep golden foundation of the rod. Were they _moving_? Keith was going to have to look into alien piercings.

Before Keith had time to calm down, he noticed the change in clothes. Not only was he wearing a turtleneck (a _turtleneck_ ), but he was sporting some black skinny jeans that demonstrated his curves all too well. The turtleneck was tucked carefully into the jeans, which looked much better than Keith was ever going to admit. His old jacket was draped over everything, which he was eternally grateful for. Keith loved that jacket, no matter how ugly the green was. As Lance made eye contact with every member of the team, his eyes lingered on Shiro’s. Keith had an idea why.

“Hey.” It was small and insecure, which was not a look Keith liked on Lance.

“Dude. Finally,” Hunk was rolling his eyes, “Your strait hair was really starting to piss me off.”

Pidge intervened,“Yeah, Lance. It really didn’t look natural. I mean, how greasy do you think it can get before people notice it’s gel?”

Keith disagreed, it looked natural enough for him never to suspect. The gel had covered his curls perfectly. Not that Keith was complaining now, because he wasn’t. He definitely wasn’t.

“Oh man, thanks guys,” He sounded as if a large weight was lifted off his shoulders.

Hunk laughed, “Bro, you’ve loved turtlenecks since you were, like, ten. The hair is just a cool plus. Oh, oh, and the piercing? Ever since you saw one when we joined the Garrison you wouldn’t stop mentioning them. This makeover is _long_ overdue.”

It was Allura’s turn to voice her opinion on the subject, so she stared in awe, “Whoa, Lance. I never took you for the one to wear skinny jeans.”

“He gets a full makeover, and all you notice are the _skinny jeans_?” Shiro sounded exasperated.

“Yes, and your problem is?”

He ignored her comment, instead turning to Lance, “You look like a man, I’m proud of you. Your change is a welcome surprise.”

In Keith’s humble opinion, Shiro looked a little bit more than proud. He looked relieved, like a serious problem he had been facing was solved. He knew that look well on their leader, but questions would have to come later. It was his turn to say something.

“Uh.”

“Uh…?” Lance looked terrified again, “Is that all you have to say?”

“You look good, Lance. Really good. Badass.”

“No, Keith, I think you want to _touch_ that ‘bad ass’ of his,” Hunk was smirking wildly.

“Back off, Hunk.”

“Okay, dude, chill. You didn’t deny it though!” Keith was blushing so furiously it was hard to focus.

“I think I am okay _not_ touching Lance’s ass.”

“Uh-huh, sure,” Pidge winked.

It was Lance’s turn to retort, “I hate you all. This friend group is disbanded. Over. Done. Zilch. Nada.”

Hunk smiled devilishly, “Whose going to make you wonderful space pie then, Lance?”

“Shit. This conversation is not over!”

“I think it is.”

“Pidge!”

“You and Keith are in looooove.”

Keith scoffed through his red face, “Since when?”

“Since you look like a tomato.”

“You are blatantly making fun of me, what else am I supposed to look like? A peach?”

“No. You’re too white for that, babe. A piece of paper.” That was Lance. Lance had called him babe. Shit. His face was not only a tomato now, it was hot sauce. A ghost pepper about to burn through his skin.

Pidge took this as an opportunity to harass him further, “Awww, Keithy-boy is embarrassed!”

Lance stopped in his tracks, “Keithy-boy? This is the best day of my life. Best. Day.”

“Good to know you’re still the same jokester on the inside,” Romelle added kindly, “I was starting to think the piercing changed your personality. Honestly wouldn’t be surprised if there was a tattoo under the\at shirt of yours."

Lance blushed fiercely, giving everything away. Keith didn’t think he could handle himself anymore. A tattoo? Seriously Lance? How much torture did he think Keith could take in one day?

“Lance? Buddy? Bro?” Hunk was practically jumping off the walls.

Pidge looked like she was about to blow something up. “No way, dude. Show me.”

“Guys, who said I even have a tattoo?”

“Your face, dumbass. It’s written on your forehead.”

Lance took the bait and swiped at his forehead, frowning. He glared at Pidge before speaking hesitantly, “Maybe another time, guys. I think Space Uncle is on overload.”

Shiro only nodded at this, as if we was in no way ready to see a tattoo on his nephews body.

“At least tell us what it looks like,” Allura began to pry.

Hunk intervened, “Yeah, dude, you get a tattoo and expect us to just ignore it?"

“Ah, I can’t really describe it. I guess I’ll show you all some other time.”

Lance looked so uncomfortable that Keith agreed one hundred percent. Anything to keep that look off of the current Red Paladin’s face. “Guys, it might be personal. Back off for a sec.”

“Keith is in love, confirmed. At Pidge-NN.”

Hunk continued in an announcers voice, “Seen blushing when near a certain figure. Very suspicious. Just found defending said figure against said figures friends. Putting the dots together was difficult, but we have done it. L-O-V-E.”

“I have new knives in this bag. Wanna see them?”

Hunk was replying before anyone else had the time to think up a response, “Oh, no. I’m out.”

Keith smirked proudly, gesturing for Lance to follow him. “Let’s leave this loser party.”

Lance seemed hesitant, “You know were adding to Pidge’s suspicions, right?”

“She can thing whatever she needs to go to bed.”

A loud “ouch” was heard in the distance. Mission accomplished.

After Lance and Keith walked off the rest of Voltron followed, eventually hopping into their separate lions. They were going to trade for a while now, because the amount of breaks they had taken was obnoxious. If Keith wanted to trade places after a while, they could make a quick stop for him to board another lion. Easy. He didn’t think he would be switching though, Red was his home. Not Lance, nope. Lance was just a tiny bonus, not the main course. _Stop, Keith. He’s way out of your league._

After some time, Lance put Red on autopilot. “Hey, Keith?”

“Yeah?” Keith replied nervously. He didn’t know why this was affecting his so much.

“Thank you.”

He was mildly perplexed with Lance’s decision to thank him, “For what?”

“For everything.”

Keith’s eyes widened slightly as he blushed. He had a crush on Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be Lance, and mostly building the relationship between him and Keith. The child desserves as much, honestly.
> 
> Get ready <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith have words in the Red Lion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand I'm back. Late considering the speed I was posting at, but like it was two days. You're all fine. The new trailer came out and I think my heart stopped? I am by no means okay with this, Voltron. If there is no Lance backstory I might actually die.
> 
> After seeing the trailer I just decided to continue with the story as planned, bc season 7 was bound to be different anyway, so enjoy.
> 
> (this is not edited one bit)

Lance was truthfully more afraid of showing the team his tattoo than facing Zarkon one on one. Wait, no, he might have to rethink that analogy. He was more unwilling to do so than to watch Lotor coon over Allura. Crap, that one was in the dump also. He would rather have a sword fight with Keith. There, that was the one. Although, he would spar with Keith any time the man asked him, and he never once hated it. Lance may have put on a show, but he really did like Keith. He would have to come up with something later 

“Laaaaaaance! Please?” Pidge was practically on her knees.

After the space mall, there was smooth flying. No weird planets, or Galra attempting to steal a ten thousand year old ship from them. Lance enjoyed the peacefulness honestly, and Keith made it a million times better. He was quiet most of the time, so there really was no distraction if he felt like piloting the lion himself, and it gave him time to think over his thoughts. On the other hand, Keith could hold a meaningful conversation with Lance, which resulted in less of a lonely ride.

With everything that had been going on in his life, Lance had forgotten about his homesickness for a few days. It came back full force now, suffocating him in the silence. He missed his mamá and papá, his siblings, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts. The list could go on for days if he listed his whole family off. Lance wanted to burst into tears every time they were even mentioned, but hw couldn’t do so with a certain broody figure flying with him. Sometimes he wanted to kick the man out, but other times he wanted to make sure Keith never left.

Since sleeping in the same bed was not an everyday thing, Lance had stole a few blankets from other members of the team and shared a couple from his mound to make Keith a less impressive one. It wasn’t as large, but it was just as beautiful, and he was naming it Petunia. Of course that had meant he needed to name his, at which time he decided for the name Nina. That was his mothers name. She was just as warm and welcoming as that mound of pillows ever could have been.

Thinking about his family over and over was becoming increasingly difficult. Lance wanted nothing more than to fun into his home yelling for everyone to come out because he was here. _Home_. Nothing could ever amount to the homesickness he was feeling. Every part of his body ached with sorrow when he thought about them. Lance was losing more and more sleep every night from the amount of nightmares and flashbacks he had been seeing. They ranged from every single one of his scars, to his death. It didn’t seem like a big deal at first, yeah, he died, whatever. He came back to life as if nothing had happened, proving to be completely fine. It was only a week after that the thought had sunk in, and after that day it was hell.

Lance knew that they were on their way home. He _knew_. He was happier than he ever had been in his entire life, but there was so long to wait. He wanted to crawl into the arms of his mother as soon as possible, and they still had months to go. He wanted to frolic in the rain with all of his siblings, laughing and joking the days away. HIs new transformation made Lance feel more like who he was, and he knew his siblings would agree. They had known their hermano inside and out. If anyone knew what he really looked like, it was them.

After Romelle revealed he had a tattoo, Hunk and Pidge wouldn’t stop asking over the video feed. Thats how Lance had gotten to this moment, with Pidge pestering him to open up.

“Look, it’s a very personal tattoo! I don’t want you guys seeing it!”

Hunk intervened looking utterly heartbroken, “Aw, man. Come on! Were your buddy-pals. I’m your bro of all bro’s. Lemme see.”

“Dude, I said no.”

“Well I say yes,” Pidge screeched.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Leave me alone?”

“Yes,” Pidge began eagerly, barely catching herself. “No! Lance, I mean no!”

It took Lance all of 0.2 seconds to disconnect Hunk and Pidge for the day. He knew that if they continued any further he would break and show them his tattoo, and then they would see the scars. Which only meant one thing in Lance’s mind, even though Kuron was gone. The Shiro that had abused him was out of the picture, he didn’t exist anymore.

The scars, the pain, everything that had happened in the past didn’t matter anymore. Lance was safe from the horrors which were Kuron, the pain of missing his home. He was coming back to his planet, where he belonged. He wasn’t in pain, nothing was wrong with him, he hadn’t lived on a space whale for two years, so other paladins had it worse off. He was _fine_. Nothing that terribly horrible had happened to him, only a few burn marks and a mildly terrifying death.

Instead of dwelling on the bad thoughts going through his mind, Lance put the Red Lion on autopilot and headed for his bedroom. Keith was there waiting on his new mound, eyeing Lance suspiciously. He was evidently toying with something in his hand, but Lance couldn’t put his finger on the object.

“You draw?”

“I _what_?”

“I was putting my jacket on and saw the pad on your dresser. Lance, these are amazing,” Keith breathed the last part as if he could believe his eyes.

“Ah, no they’re not.”

Keith gaped at him, “Lance.”

“Why are you snooping?”

“I’m not! It was literally wide open on your dresser. I saw a drawing of me and couldn’t help myself.”

“Keith, I am a million bajillion quadrillion percent sure that it was _not_ wide open on my dresser. I promise you, you’re a snoop.”

“I was bored!”

“Yeah, whatever. The only reason I am not bursting with anger right now is because I’m tired from piloting Red, expect a tantrum tomorrow.”

That was a lie. Lance was tired from getting no sleep for days. He would not be any more coherent the next day than he was at the moment. Instead of dwelling on his drama, Lance slipped into his night clothes (which he had begun wearing when Keith moved in) and huddled into a comfortable burrito. All Lance wanted to do was _sleep_. He knew that it would come, because exhaustion did that to a person, but he couldn’t bring himself to want it to. Against his wishes, the darkness pulled him under.

∞

_Lance was playing in his back yard with his brother, who was throwing a ball at him._

_“Come on, Lance! Catch the ball!”_

_“You know I can’t, Marco!”_

_Luis jumped out from his bedroom window yelling, “Lance, come on, you got this. I know you do.”_

_“What does catching a ball have to do with anything?” Veronica rolled her eyes._

_“If Lance wants to be a pilot, he has to learn to catch a ball,” Marco huffed._

_“No, I don’t!”_

_“I say you do, and I’m older. So you do,” Luis winked._

_“Ugh, please don’t pull the ‘I’m older’ card.”_

_“I just did.”_

_Lance ended up catching the ball, resulting in a sibling cake eating party._

_“HE DID IT,” Marco was practically flying with excitement, “This officially means you will make fighter pilot.”_

_Veronica smiled lightly, “I still have no idea what this has to do with the Garrison, but congrats. You caught the ball. A ball. A measly ball.”_

_“Hey!”_

_“Love you bro,” She yelled while dashing off into the distance._

∞

Lance woke up with tears in his eyes, knowing that he would see him again. What if they had forgot him and moved on? He was gone for long enough that it was a possibility. He would come home all happy, to find out that no one remembered him any longer. They would laugh at him and say that their brother was dead, gone. Whoever he was definitely had nothing to do with Lance, because he didn’t exist anymore. In a way, Lance’s imaginary scenario was correct. The Lance that his siblings had come to know was dead. He had literally lost his life protecting one of his fellow paladins, resulting in the loss of his soul as well.

Without thinking, Lance stood up and made his way to the cockpit. He grabbed at the controls and began carefully flying his lion around. This had become his safe haven over the past weeks, because the only being that knew truly and fully what Lance was going through was his lion.

“Lance,” Keith called from behind.

Instead of putting up a wall, Lance but back, “Why are you awake?” He was too tired for anything at the moment.

“I could ask you the same thing. It’s like you never sleep.”

“I do.”

“Do you?”

“Yes, now what do you want?”

“Has it ever occurred to you that you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone?”

“What?”

“You’re perfect the way you are Lance. Shiro is proud of you, and anything that Kuron said or did wasn’t true. Shiro would never do anything like that.”

Lance went livid, “How the hell do you know what Kuron did to me?”

“Shiro asked Hunk about it. I think he’s remembering some things.”

Turning around, Lance practically screamed, “What things?”

“Hey, hey, calm down. Hunk told us it never passed words, but those can be just as harmful.”

Lance deflated so fully that he thought he may have passed out if Keith didn’t continue speaking, “Dude, are you okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” He would always be fine.

“You don’t look very _fine_ to me.”

“You just caught me at a bad time. I promise that it literally does not matter.”

“Lately, it looks like nothing matters to you.”

Lance huffed out a laugh. Everything mattered. It mattered so, so much. The pain, the burns, the words. Keith had said those could be just as hurtful as the punches, but Lance disagreed entirely. The team made fun of him every day and it didn’t affect his performance… that much. When Shiro had hit him, it meant that his leader didn’t want him to exist. Everything that he had done to prove he was a good pilot and paladin went down to zero when the first punch became a reality.

Of course it was a clone, so none of it mattered now because Kuron was dead and out of the picture, but Lance hurt. So bad inside, it was beginning to eat him alive. Everything that happened in the past was weighing on him now, making Lance want to cry. Why was everything so wrong with him? Why couldn’t he be normal? Why did everything have to affect him so much? What was wrong with him?

“Hey, no. It’s okay. It came out wrong, I’m sorry I made you cry.”

_What?_ Keith had seen him cry. Not that he hadn’t before, but now they were alone and hunk wasn’t there to cry with him and steal the attention. It wasn’t a dramatic moment where their friend was dead and nothing was fixable. No, this was Lance crying from a comment. actually, not even that!

Lance wiped the tears from his eyes aggressively. Keith was not going to see him this weak if his life depended on it.

“Sorry, I’m fine. I was sweating from my eyes.”

“You’re always fine.” If he only knew.

“I’m done with this conversation.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I politely disagree.” Lance made a move to stand and walk away, but Keith managed to grab at his shirt. Before Lance realized what was happening, Keith let go with a horrified gasp.

“Lance, was that a handprint?”

The other full handprint was on his back, after Shiro had beat him to the ground and… Lance shivered. He did not want to think about that incident again.

“No, Mullet. It definitely wasn’t. Leave me alone.”

“That is not happening.” Keith chased after Lance down the stairs, grabbing at his nightshirt once again. “That’s why you sleep with the clothes, isn’t it? To cover something up?”

“No, Keith. Back off.”

“I can’t do that, Lance. Shit, is that a buff from Shiro’s arm?”

Keith had Lance pinned in a corner now, grabbing at his arms. “No, leave me alone.”

“Take your shirt off or I’ll do it for you.”

“No.” It was worth a shot.

Keith didn’t waste a second before pulling Lance’s shirt over his head. All the air in th room seemed to disappear. Keith stopped breathing, and Lance was on the verge of hyperventilation.

“Lance, who did this.”

“No one, Keith. Fuck off.”

“Hey, calm down. I wont do anything. I want to hear the words from you, Lance. Who. Did. This.”

Lance didn’t think he could hold anything from Keith anymore. Everything in his body hurt and burned until he couldn’t breathe. “Kuron.”

Keith went absolutely rigid. He looked as if he were about to pounce on any living thing that breathed. “I am going to kill someone.”

Lance wasn’t listening anymore, he was focusing on his breathing. Wy couldn’t he take any air in? What was going on? HIs chest began to ache painfully, but before anything worse could happen, Keith’s hand was on his neck.

“Hey, it’s okay. Breathe, are you ready?” With a curt nod from Lance, Keith began, “In, out. In, out.”

Keith repeated the words until Lance was on the ground shaking, but breathing.

“I’m sorry,” Lance gasped.

“ _You’re_ the one who’s sorry? Lance, I thought nothing happened to you. I thought you were okay.” Tears were slowly rolling down Keith’s cheeks and Lance couldn’t be allow that to happen.

“No, it was my fault. I didn’t tell anyone. I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you, Lance? How could you do this to us, To _me_?” To him? Lance couldn’t be that important to anyone.

“I couldn’t.”

“Tell me why.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

“No, Keith, he’s going to come for me.” Oops, he had let that slip.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing, Keith. Sorry to bother you.”

“He threatened you?”

Lance made a move to stand up, but was pulled into a hug. He cracked under the pressure, grabbing at the back of Keith’s shirt desperately. He had gone through so much and now it was out in the open. Well, some of it was, but he would keep the death a secret to the grave. His second grave. Without anyone telling him to stop, Lance let everything go. Keith wasn’t making fun of him, or trying to make a joke out of him. He was actually a comforting, strong presence.

After he calmed down a bit, Keith mumbled quietly, “Can I touch them?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, that was a longer chapter than the others, but we good. It was fun to write. Were gonna see some reactions from Keith's pov, be ready.
> 
> Glad you're here <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was traveling. Sorry. We back tho. I come with gay Keith and angsty Lance, so i'd say were doing ok. Mostly Keith pining for Lance when the poor child is not ready.
> 
> We are ignoring season seven bc that was too intense for me. I was literally almost crying half the season. The story shall go on according to semi-plan. Be ready, lmao.
> 
> (Oh, and sassy Lotor is my overall mood in life)

Kuron threatened Lance. Kuron _threatened_ Lance, as if he was a toy the demon could play with. Keith was going to get his revenge. He was going to do anything he had to do to make sure that his friend was treated correctly.

_“Nothing happened to him!”_

Keith’s words had never been so wrong in his life. So much had happened, from words to punches to burns. The horrors that his team must have faced while he was away… and all Keith did was assume. He assumed that Lance was fine because the man had said so. He assumed that Shiro was the only one with problems on the team, that their leader was the only one worthy of any sympathy because he had literally died. Keith had found his mother, a space teleporting wolf, and anything he could wish for and all he gave back was incorrect assumptions. How could he have been so ignorant? All of this was his fault, not Lance’s. Why did he get to take all of the blame? Maybe Keith wanted to steal that pain onto himself because he was worthy it. He didn’t get to take all of the weight on himself, that was never fair.

When Lance had taken his shirt off, Keith felt the world crumble around him. The whole front of his body was covered in scars resembling handprints, making the Blade member wonder what was on the other side. Some were half visible, while others were only the brush of fingers against flesh. One scar stood out against Lance’s caramel skin more than the others, making a slow tear run down Keith’s cheek.

A large handprint was splayed out on the lower half of his abdomen, which could only come from Shiro’s Galra arm. The burn was evidently deeper than the others. Keith didn’t know if he could even imagine the pain that Lance must have gone through. The mark wasn’t red anymore, but he could practically see the burnt flesh seeping from the teenager’s wound while he lay screaming and sobbing on the floor in his mind. He imagined Shiro’s arm pinning Lance to the wall in that position, while his other grabbed at Lance’s shoulder the way he did when having fun. What Keith was seeing did not look like fun.

Worst of all, this came from a man Lance trusted. A man he called his leader. Someone who he served as a right hand man to, a hero he would always look up to. Now, every time he saw Shiro all he could think of were the marks on his skin, the times Shiro punched him or called him useless. Immature. Incapable. Words that meant everything when they came from an idol. Shiro was the person Lance believed in and trusted the most and that turned on him. How could Kuron say his teammate was incapable?

Lance was so capable that Keith was ready to do practically anything to prove his point. Seeing his friend hyperventilate sent him into ‘stop the crying’ mode. This was a mode he rarely ever used, with the acceptation of Shiro. This care did not include romantic feelings, nope.

“Hey, it’s okay. Breathe, are you ready?” Lance nodded so slightly that Keith had to strain for a moment before realizing it had happened. He started breathing heavily and pressing his hand over Lance’s — which was located on his chest. After a few breaths he began to chant lowly, “In, out. In, out.”

After a few minutes, Keith found himself on the floor cradling an exhausted looking Lance. With everything that had happened to the man, he wasn’t surprised. What had gone on in Lance’s mind to make any of this alright? Why had he risked everything to make sure none of them knew? The Red Paladin was a mystery yet to be solved.

“I’m sorry,” Lance murmured after a long while of gasping. _Whoa, whoa, wait._ Lance was sorry? Keith needed a moment to process the two words that came from his friend’s mouth. _Lance_ was sorry? Why was he apologizing? Besides keeping everything that happened a secret, Lance was at no fault in this situation.

“ _You’re_ the one who’s sorry?” Keith voiced, exasperated. “Lance, I thought nothing happened to you. I thought you were okay.”

As he spoke, Keith noticed his face was wet, slow tears were running down his cheeks. He had let Lance down. How could he do something so terrible?

“No, it was my fault. I didn’t tell anyone. I’m sorry.” He admitted to his only fault, but even that seemed insignificant at the moment. Keith only wanted to know _why_.

“Why didn’t you, Lance? How could you do this to us, To _me_?” He didn’t mean to let the last part slip out, but Lance needed to know he cared; Keith was not an evil brooding teenager _all_ the time.

“I couldn’t.” What did that mean?

Keith persisted urgently, “Tell me why.”

“I can’t.” Ugh, damn Lance’s stubborn ass. He could, he just didn’t want to. The boy had spilled too many secrets to continue with this air of mystery.

“Yes, you can.”

“No, Keith, he’s going to come for me.” If Keith thought he was upset before, this was a new level. He had heard Lance wrong, that was for sure. No one was going to come for him. No one was capable of hurting his friend that much.

In an attempt to clarify what he had heard, Keith muttered a low, “Excuse me?”

“Nothing, Keith. Sorry to bother you.”

His suspicions confirmed, Keith wanted nothing more than to bang his head against the wall. Nothing was going the way he wanted it to. Everything was spinning, making his thought process slow down significantly. When his swirling mind regained some composure, the words came out quietly, “He threatened you?”

Lance made a move to stand up, but before he could get far Keith was pulling him back down. Everything inside him hurt. How could he have let this happen? Everything that had gone on inside Lance’s mind had slipped his. The signs that pointed to his distress were forgotten in the mess of everything that was going on. The makeover made sense now, Lance had to forget everything that had happened to him. He wanted to get rid of the side of him that radiated weakness as Kuron beat everything from his body.

The embrace seemed to be Lance’s breaking point, as he sobbed so hard his breaths came in rare puffs. Everything that happened to in came out in the wet splotch on Keith’s shirt. The teen’s short nails were digging into his back so tightly it was as if his life was on the line. Maybe it was. Lance needed to do this a long time ago, but instead he held it in like a balloon which kept growing until the pressure was to much. Lance popped. Keith was glad it was in front of him, he wanted to make sure his teammate trusted him, gay feelings aside. For Lance, Keith would do anything.

As time went on, Keith realized he had seen Lance’s tattoo. It was beautiful from the angle that he had seen, one knife with a lion’s head as the hilt. Shattered Glass surrounded the knife, as well as two scars. After some more observation, he realized that the knife was a scar, and the two around it must have been more fingers. It made his heart churn. That scar must have been really important to Lance. Keith had always admired tattoos, they were permanent. Anyone who got one must’ve had some level of bravery to them.

Keith felt the craving to touch Lance’s tattoo, his scars, his everything. _No gay thoughts right now, Keith._ Before he could stop the words from slipping his mouth, they were tumbling out, “Can I touch them?”

The silence that hung around them became very quickly awkward. Why did Keith have the curse of no self control? Was it that hard to leave Lance alone and let him breathe for a moment? He wanted to touch the scars, but that was something Lance had to allow him to do. Outright asking was evidently not the way to go in the moment. Keith assumed that he had decided on just not answering when the boy stirred and pushed away slightly. He brought Keith’s hand to a small scar on his ribs, which might have been the least significant in the moment.

Keith breathed out slowly and traced the scar with his fingers. He made his touch light, in an attempt to make Lance feel better about himself. He was just as beautiful as he was without the scars, his toned abs were clearly visible even with the remnants of burnt flesh covering every part of— _Keith! No. Gay._

After a few moments, he moved to a slightly larger scar, with three barely visible lines etched into the curves of Lance’s muscles. It was on his arm, which must have meant Shiro had attempted to grab at him, or make sure he stayed in the same position. A small punishment for what he must’ve done. Lance let out a sharp breath, but remained calm under Keith’s fingers. With every new scar Keith touched, Lance seemed to tense, resulting in the release of a long, drawn out breath. He touched every scar on the front of Lances body, eventually tracing the tattoo with his fingers. Doing so made him realize that it was moving, every so slightly, with every passing moment.

“Lance,” Keith began hesitantly, searching for an answer in Lance’s face.

“Hm?” His eyes were closed and he was leaning heavily on the wall behind him. It looked as if he were drained of all energy.

“What did this scar mean to you? The tattoo, I mean.”

“It was my first.”

“Oh.”

Keith eventually moved his hand from the constantly surprising tattoo to his last destination: the handprint. Shiro’s hand was larger than his, so the fingers tracing Lance’s skin seemed delicate in comparison. He carefully stretched his hand out and placed it over the scar. Instead of tensing up, the muscles under his hand relaxed almost instantly. Keith didn’t want to make his friend any more uncomfortable so he ceased the caressing of skin and tapped his shoulder instead, gaining a low moan of protest from Lance.

“Hey, when was the last time you slept?”

“Last night.”

“Lance. How long?” It was more of a demand than a question, making the drowsy boy perk up a bit.

“I dunno.” _Shit, what’s that supposed to mean?_

“Well then, there is no other choice. Go to bed. Now.”

“Can I sleep here?”

Keith let out an exasperated sigh, “Why would you every want to sleep here, Lance?”

“M’tired. Bed. Far.”

“Yeah, okay, no.” Keith hauled Lance up with minimal protest from the other, which was slightly worrying. He decided not to dwell on any bad thoughts. The bed wasn’t too far away from their current position, so he deposited the rag doll of a red paladin onto the mound of pillows. When Lance didn’t respond, Keith pulled the blankets over his sleeping form, definitely not thinking about how peaceful he looked. Or how cute and small and… _Not today_.

Keith was about to make his way to the other side of the room when a hand grabbed his shirt longingly. “No, don’t leave me. Stay.”

Lance wanted him to stay? What? Keith was of course completely open to the idea, but since when had Lance liked his presence? Since when did Lance want him by his side at night? _Keith. Come on, dude, he’s scared and lonely. Not gay. You’re gay. STOP BEING GAY._ Keith frowned down at the mound which was Lance trying to debate what was going on in his head. The Red Paladin would definitely regret this the next morning, screaming and yelling about how they were rivals. Keith shouldn’t have even thought about getting into bed with Lance if he was going to get that man the next morning. He sure thought about it though, waking up with Lance in his arms, being able to watch over him from much closer as he sleeps. Keith liked that idea very much.

Lance’s eyed were drooping shut now, and it looked as if he were trying to fight the urge to sleep. The hand came back up and tugged at his shirt again, before falling limply on the bed. Lance’s words were weak and quiet, but got his point along just fine, “Keith. Please?”

Without hesitation Keith climbed into bed with Lance, trying to ignore the fact that he would regret this the next day. The paladin next to him would come to his senses and and him why he was sleeping in a bed with him, making for a drawn out argument. He didn’t care. This Lance wanted him and that was what he was going to get. Not because Keith dreamed of sleeping with Lance many times, no. That was definitely not the case in this situation. A friend needed him and so he was here to help. That was all the situation was, nothing more and definitely nothing less. His thoughts slowed when Lance latched onto his back and pressed his face into the crook of Keith’s neck. Yep, he was totally fine.

Keith carefully wrapped his arms around Lance’s slender form and pressed his face into the soft brown hair. How did his hair manage to smell so good even after what had happened? Keith didn’t know. All he knew was that his gay crush was sleeping in his arms. Lance was pressing his face into Keith’s chest until he couldn’t stay awake anymore. The fingers digging into his back loosened, and Lance’s head lolled to the side a bit as his breath evened out. This gave him space to study the sleeping boy’s form.

Lance looked so peaceful, eyes closed, lips barely parted, little features of his face illuminated by the soft light in the lion. Keith was in for a ride. A long, long, painful ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a general plot for this? Kinda? But otherwise I have no clue where this is going. I am spewing word goop, so be ready. I might use like tiny things from season seven, but otherwise this is still my own story.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro is seeing things he never bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof I'm back. Shcool sucks. But i'm here with some Shiro angst cuz the child is confused. 
> 
> Ahaha wait don't worry there's a handful of Langst in there too. Maybe more idk.

_It was dark in the room, unbelievably so. If Shiro didn’t squint, it would seem like the loneliest sections of space. All the light came from his arm, illuminating a figure on the ground with its purple light. Unable to make out any exact features, Shiro moved forward; he needed to see what was making that sound. It was the sound of someone suffering, maybe even writhing in pain. All he wanted to do was make that noise continue. Shiro wanted to feel the shadow’s sorrow until it bled out onto the ground, maybe until it died. It didn’t belong here._

_The figure was visible now, only distinguishable as one person. Lance. He was backed up against the wall, letting out quiet whimpers and gasps of pain. Half of his side was covered in burns behind the clothes turned to ash, but there was only one Shiro cared for. His hand was displayed on Lance’s skin permanently, and he could see it clearly. No matter what the boy did with his life after, one memory would remain permanent. Every mark on Lance’s body would be a sign that he was once beaten by the hands of his leader. Shiro loved the idea. He inched forward, earning a hitch of breath as a response. Smile widening slowly, he knelt down next to Lance._

_“Do you know why I am doing this?” Lance curled away from his face, pushing further into himself as if he could become invisible. “Because you have no use on this team. Do you understand? Anyone could do better than you are. You have no place here.”_

_Shiro watched himself punch lance with his human hand until the other boy was barely coherent. He watched as the light in his arm faded. He watched as the shadowed figure of his fellow paladin struggled to peel himself off the ground. Shiro could only continue to watch as Lance trudged to the med bay. He did nothing. He wanted it. He wanted Lance to suffer, he wanted to ease his pain by putting it on someone else._

_Shiro would never act that way, no. He couldn’t. He loved Lance. He would do anything for his team. This was not reality. This was a dream._

_Lance collapsed on his way to the pods._

_∞_

Shiro woke slowly, examining his surroundings. He was in the black lion, everything was okay. Lance would be fine, living and breathing just as anyone else on this ship was. There would be no screaming, no whimpering, no pain, He would see Lance and everything would be okay. Everything would be normal.

This chant continued in Shiro’s head until he could believe it. Everything was going to be ok. He felt the tears on his cheeks only minutes later, swiftly wiping them away. He had wanted it. In the dream, he had _needed_ Lance to feel pain and sorrow. It wasn’t something had done on accident, but out of spite. His psychotic idea of equality and fairness. He had fed off of Lance’s suffering and thrived because of it.

Shiro’s clothes didn’t feel right, his head was muddled with visions of Lance on the floor of their castle, near death. Pools of blood forming around his body, skin boiling off. He remembered Lance’s back arching as his full hand came in contact with perfectly smooth tan shin. He remembered as Lance cried when his fingers first brushed the clean surface.

No. This was not a memory, but an illusion. Shiro would never have done those things to Lance, no matter the reward. Lance was his teammate, his _friend_ and nothing could have caused Shiro to turn on him. Nothing would push Shiro into hurting one of his friends; the people he loved. Nothing in the entire universe. Nothing in any reality that had ever existed.

Did the same apply to Kuron? Shiro wondered what he was like toward the team. Hunk mentioned him being unkind, but never harmful. Never physical, right? Kuron would never had gone as far as to hurt or almost kill one of the members of team Voltron, that was absurd. Each and every one of them was necessary in one way or another, and if Kuron didn’t think so, that was his loss.

Shiro got up then, pushing the sweaty blankets off of them and heading for the washroom. He wanted to rid himself of anything to do with Kuron. Shiro shuddered then, because he _was_ Kuron. This was his body. His arm, his face, his skin, his hair, everything. All Shiro had left was a consciousness he couldn’t trust. All Shiro had for himself was a broken mind, with visions of a fallen teammate. Without thinking, Shiro began a comm line with the Red Lion. He was going to talk to Lance no matter what the boy said. Shiro needed to know. For himself.

Lance was slow to answer, but he did eventually and a dim video feed showed him in the pilot seat, with Keith nowhere to be found. Good, Shiro was not about to explain what he saw to Lance if Keith was listening in.

“Hey, whats up.” Lance’s voice was cautions and wary, seemingly prepared for anything.

Shiro decided he would begin small, instead of scaring his teammate away, “How are you holding up?”

Lance’s eyes widened slightly, “What?”

“I mean, that was a pretty tough beating you took the other day, are you alright?” Lance visibly relaxed.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good as new.”

Shiro studied him carefully. Lance’s hair was ruffled slightly from sleep, curls darting every which way and he wore the black under-suit which hugged his form nicely. Shiro never thought of Lance as muscular, but seeing him now, that presumption changed. His face was worn, as if he hadn’t gotten sleep in a decade. Shiro didn’t doubt that to be true.

“Are you sure?”

“Um, yeah, why? Are _you_ okay? You know, coming back from the dead and all… that was a long time to be in oblivion.”

“Yes, it was.” Shiro had hated every second of it. Every moment in the vast expanse of the Black Lion’s thoughts, the astral plane, everything.

“Sorry about that, man. Dying must suck, huh.”

Shiro didn’t know what to say, so he mumbled a quick, “I guess.”

“If you ever need anyone to talk to, you know I’m here, right? The whole team is here for you.”

“Thanks, Lance.” Shiro knew what he was doing. Hell, he had done this a number of times himself. Lance was turning the conversation on him. He was avoiding the consequences of Shiro realizing what had happened. Shiro was beginning to regret his compliance to Lance’s questions, he wanted answers himself. “Where’s Keith?”

“In the shower.”

“There’s a shower?”

“Found it yesterday. Alteans need to give up on their secret panels, it’s annoying.”

Shiro chuckled, “Yeah, they are.” He needed to get back on track before this conversation went too far once again. “Listen, Lance, are you sure that there is nothing you want to talk about?”

Lance looked skeptical, “Shiro, I would have come to you if there was.”

“I’ve been having flashbacks again.”

Lance looked down, “Sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault, Lance. I just—“ Shiro was at a loss of words, “Listen. You’re in them, Lance. In every single one, and I just want to know what’s going on. Did Kuron do anything to you while I was gone? Did he hurt you?”

Lance’s posture stiffened a bit before answering, “Look, Shiro, I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong with me, okay? I look the same, don’t I?”

“No.”

“What?”

“Practically everything about you is different. If Kuron did anything to you I need to know, I can’t bear the thought of you abused, Lance. You’re my teammate. How am I going to live with myself if I hurt you? How am I supposed to help if I don’t even know what’s going on? How am I—“

Keith walked in then, his own black body suit on, giving the camera a blank stare. His hair was soaked, due to the shower, and his posture was offensive as if he was ready to pounce through the screen in any given moment. Shiro sighed heavily; the conversation would have to be continued later. He was not about tho argue with two stubborn paladins at once.

“Look, just talk to me Lance, alright?” Lance gave a stiff nod. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

He ended the call then, opting to swerve around the newfound obstacle called space. Breathing out a heavy breath, he thought about what Lance had said. Nothing. Lance had said nothing about himself, and all that Shiro had gotten out of the conversation were some feelings about _his own_ death. How was he supposed to be a good leader if he couldn’t even understand what his team was going through? What had happened while he was away? What if Lance had really been hurt, what if Hunk went through something traumatizing, what if Pidge lost Matt?

None of these were out of the picture, and that terrified the leader of Voltron. He couldn’t bear the though of his teammates going tho=rough something without their leader there. Kuron was no leader, he was a fake, a mannequin made by Haggar to fool his team into believing it was Shiro. They had believed it too, every single one of them until the end. Had they really believed that Shiro could have been so cruel? Had they really began to think that he was such an unstable leader, that he tormented his fellow teammates, friends, or even more?

Maybe he was so bad, maybe he dint deserve to be the leader of this team. Keith made a much better one. He was there and present, not oblivious to what his teammates felt. Shiro couldn’t even do one thing correctly. He watched the stars shine as the lion moved forward.

_Lance was huddled up in the observation deck, hands around his knees, shaking as if it was the dead of winter. His hoodie was forgotten near the entrance and Shiro could see every bruise, scrape, and scar on Lance’s arms. They were beautiful, littering his body like gemstones. Shiro wanted to make more, to mark his claim on this person. He wanted to make sure that Lance got what he deserved, and never forgot what he was really here for._

_Shiro watched as Lance turned around and smiled. He looked nearly dead, his eyes sunken in like a ghosts. Nothing made him happier._

_No. Shiro didn’t want this, he didn’t. He couldn’t make his teammate suffer, never in a million years. He couldn’t hurt anyone like Lance he—_

“Hey, Shiro? You there?” Hunk’s voice cut through the flashback.

His voice shook a bit, “Yeah. Yeah, Hunk what’s up?”

“You okay?”

“Never better.”

“Okay, well, Pidge and I are working on contacting Earth, and nothing seems to be working. We don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean it’s not working?” Shiro became more alert. What could that mean? He couldn’t live with himself if something happened to their home. He had a life there. He had a fiancé.

“I mean what I say, Shiro. We don’t have a connection to Earth.”

“What could that mean?” His heart was pounding.

“I don’t know. A lot of things. It doesn’t have to be serious, dude, don’t worry. I just wanted to let you know. I think we should continue our path and hope for the best. You never know.”

“No, you don’t, do you.”

“Everything will be okay, Shiro. Everyone will be fine.”

“Will it?”

“I’m sure it will. Don’t worry too much about what’s going on, you’ll hurt yourself. Relax. Nothing is happening.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Everything was going to be fine, Hunk was right. Maybe Earth hadn’t figured Altean technology out yet. Maybe the lions were just having trouble connecting. It could have been that the Holt’s were still journeying to the planet. Everything was fine, everyone was okay. Hunk was right.

He was not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof that was ruff, next one will probably be Lance starting off at the end of the call with Keith, but we'll see. there's still so much I want to cover and I don't want to like rush the story but at the same time like how do I not??? idk man idk.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly just Lance brooding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok tbh half the reason im back is because of the holiday break. this story has a general plot... ish? but everything in the middle is just word spew sooo yeah. Enjoy my word soup!

Lance stole a timid glance at Keith, honestly afraid he was going to pounce at the camera. His face was blank, eyebrow slightly raised. He looked at Lance inquisitively, as if daring him to question what just happened.

At that moment, everything rushed back. Keith had seen him. He had watched Lance lose whatever means he had to keep himself together; seen the parts of him that even his family didn’t know about. Lance had broken down and Keith had been there. Keith had watched him lose his temper. Lance couldn’t think strait. He gripped the side of hischair and closed his eyes. This was _not_ happening.

“So,” Lance started, but cut himself off. He didn’t know what to say. When he had slid out of Keith’s arms that morning, nothing seemed to make sense. As usual, he had woken up too early for anyone else to be functioning, and took to the drawing pad. The one _Keith_ of all people had seen.

He tried drawing in it, but everything came out wrong. He was too tired. Every few minutes he had to rub his eyes to stay awake, because no way in hell was he about to go back to sleep. He tried to pace around his lion too, but all he seemed to be able to accomplish was staring into outer space, contemplating why Kaltenecker was such a beautiful cow. Through his muddled brain, _that_ even brought him to tears. Just look at her, utter perfection. He sincerely hoped Keith wasn’t going to notice him until later, but here they were. Lance should have known Keith never slept either. Who was _he_ whining about his own nightmares, when Keith faced much worse. No way should Keith have been the one comforting him, when he probably had his own problems. _Dios_ , why was he so pathetic? He could never be friends with a man like Keith.

It wasn’t like Lance hated Keith, he really didn’t (although if anyone were to ask him Lance would easily deny, swearing on his mother’s life that he did). The problem didn’t lie in Keith, necessarily, but himself. Lance would never live up to the pilot and warrior that he was. He was perfect. HIs close-range fighting was a force to be reckoned with. When Keith wanted to, he could fight a giant singlehandedly and win. Just like that. Keith could pilot through the hardest simulator back at the garrison, and Lance wondered what he could pilot through in real life. Probably everything. Rolo was right, he was one hell of a pilot. Lance bet that if Keith wanted to, he could become a better sharpshooter than himself. Not that he was a great sharpshooter… so he wouldn’t have a hard time achieving that goal. Especially when Lance was so broken by Kuron. Especially when he was too weak to stop any of it from happening.

He was so pathetic. He had the scars on his body to prove it. Lance really tried to forget how he felt, even made himself look as badass as he did, but nothing could fix him now. Not even Keith’s perfect ass. Ugh, why was everything about Keith so perfect? Lance looked to the ground, examining the tile. Waking up in Keith’s arms was unexpected, but he wanted more. He felt safe and wanted, not hurt… not abused. Keith was hugging him, and Lance almost fell asleep again. He almost closed his eyes to dive back into the living hell that was his nightmares. He wanted so _badly_ to just close his eyes and forget the world, but that wasn’t fair to Keith. He wasn’t going to wake him up just to see a pale and sweaty Lance, the night before had been enough. What did Keith think of him now? His hands started to shake, so Lance clasped them together and willed them to stop moving.

A cold hand grabbed his shoulder, while another wrapped around his knuckles. They weren’t gloved. Oh, _Dios,_ they weren’t gloved. Why were they so soft? Why was all of him so perfect? Keith had a small frown on his face, one that did not suit him one bit, as he examined Lance’s features.

“So?” He nudged Lance’s shoulder a bit in question.

“Nothin’”

“You weren’t there when I woke up…”

“Oh,” Lance looked down further. Had Keith wanted him there? Probably not… Keith never wanted him anywhere. He was annoying and loud and clingy. He was so _, so_ clingy. Like that one time after Keith had been a self-sacrificing bitch, he practically hung on to his arm for an entire week. That was embarrassing, but he couldn’t stop himself. The idiot had scared him goddamnit. Lance’s eyes widened slightly. What did Keith _really_ think of him? He probably thought he was some useless piece of shit.

“Lance, hey, hey it’s okay. You’re okay.”

He was breathing funny, wasn’t he. Huh, that’s the second time Keith had seen him this unbelievably useless.

“No. Hey, Lance look at me. You are not useless. Stop it.”

Shit, he had said that out loud. At this, Keith chuckled lightly (a beautiful sound, but it wasn’t because Keith was his _rival_ ) and Lance groaned loudly.

“Lance, you didn’t sleep again, did you.”

“I did.”

“Lance, no offense, but you look like you got hit by a truck. Then swallowed by a weblum. Twice.”

“Saying no offense does not _mean_ no offense, Keith.”

“Whatever you say, Lance,” Keith rolled his eyes gently. _Gently_. Why was Keith being so kind? Lance was like some broken record that had to keep getting put together. He hated it. He hated being weak, and dumb, and worthless. It could never compare to what Keith was like. Suddenly Keith’s face sobered, and he sent a hard look to Lance. There was the Keith he knew, the one who hated him. The one who would rather he be dead than talking to him.

“Stop that.” His tone was cold.

“What?” Lance smiled brightly; he always smiled. He had to smile.

“Stop changing the topic. Lance, what’s bothering you? Why won’t you talk to me?”

Lance couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Since when had Keith cared? Keith shouldn’t have cared. Lance was a coward, an unworthy, messed up, piece of shit. He let out a small “what” before Keith gripped his shoulders.

“C’mon. I can tell from the way you look. You’re fake smile looks worse than usual.”

“It’s not _fake_.”

“Lance.”

“I slept,” he lied. Well, kinda. He _had_ slept, but something told him this was not going to live up to Keith’s standards. Lance thought he was overreacting.

Keith gave Lance such a mean look that he might have curled in on himself if he had the energy. “When. Did. You. Wake. Up.”

“Early.”

“Work with me here, Lance.” This time it was a whine, a plea for lance to just give in. He felt bad… Keith should know.

“I dunno, two…”

Keith sucked in a long breath, “We went to bed at one.”

“Did we?”

Lance knew. He knew how long he had slept, and why felt like shit the day after. He knew that nothing could make him better at this point. He knew he wanted to curl up in a ball and _sleep_ , goddamnit, but he couldn’t. The moment Lance closed his eyes, his family would die, and Earth would be up in flames.

Lance sighed, rubbing his eyes. Maybe if he fell asleep here, Keith wouldn’t mind. He _would_ be sleeping, wouldn’t he? And instead of running up here, he could just wake up and brood right away. That sounded like a great plan to Lance. Without meaning to, he began to nod off, his head lolling to the side. He was barely aware of the low laugh, more like a beautiful rumble, coming from Keith. At this point, Lance was barely coherent.

Keith suddenly grabbed him by the elbow, pulling him from the seat. “You, my friend, are going to bed.”

“It’s morning.” Was that the best Lance had?

“Your fault.”

He swayed uncontrollably, grabbing the hem of Keith’s shirt. Another low rumble. Lance could fall asleep to that sound. Oh, wait, he was. Stumbling forward, Lance practically fell on his face. Keith hooked his arm under his waist supportively, gaining a tired hum from Lance. He could lose consciousness standing, at this point.

Keith practically carried Lance into the back of his lion. Why did he have to be so _tired_? Couldn’t he live just one day without the need to fall asleep? Maybe he could become a vampire, like in Twilight. That would be so nice. He would never have to sleep again. And he loved the movie.

Keith scoffed, “You’re like a child, honestly.”

Lance only hummed in acknowledgement.

Keith flopped Lance onto his pile of pillows when the loud alarm rang out. Lance wanted to cry. The pounding headache he was acquiring did not help anything. In fact, Lance felt as if he was going to die.

Allura’s voice rang out through the speakers, making his body throb worse. Why were they always under attack?

“Paladins, it looks like there is a distress signal from a nearby planet. We do not know of the inhabitants, but that is not something a Voltron Paladin should worry about. We have all faced brutalities in the past. The planet is surrounded by flying debris and old technology… I don’t think any of us would be able to make it through the pile. That is, anyone but Lance.”

She paused then, waiting for a reaction. Lance sat up on his bed, though, waiting for more information. He was a lot less tired now. Allura continued quickly, “You have the fastest lion, and your piloting skills have practically doubled since Blue first claimed you. All you have to do is see what’s going on for now, we will tell you how to continue when you’re down there.”

Lance ran to the cockpit. Keith frantically called his name from behind, running after the Red Paladin.

“Allura, this is Lance. I have eyes on an opening that could get us through. Wish me luck. I mean, not like I’ll need it.”

“Good luck, Lance.” He swallowed. Allura never wished him luck.

Lance adjusted his helmet as he pushed his feet into paladin boots. “I’m going in.”

∞

Keith pulled at Lance’s shoulder, gaining a groan. “Lance, think about this.”

Lance practically felt the steam coming from his ears. Keith was going to let some defenseless people _die_ because he thought Lance needed rest?

“If you don’t want to help, then I recommend the Black Lion. She’s not going in.” Lance felt bad for the hurt look on Keith’s face but now was not the time to be dealing with feelings. Lance heard an angry huff of breath, and the clink of paladin armor behind him. He let out a sigh. Keith would be here with him.

Before even Lance saw the boulder barreling toward them, Keith yelled a loud, “Swerve!” There was no impact. Lance narrowed his eyes. He was going to have to do this the Voltron way. He let Red guide him through the controls, leveling his mind with hers. If she had a mind. Did Voltron lions have brains?

“Lance, _focus_ ,” Keith yelped as Lance barely avoided another rock. This went on for too long. He was swerving left and right, avoiding the storm. Who had messed this planet up so bad? He couldn’t imagine anyone polluting their planet to the point where it wasn’t functional anymore. He rethought this a moment after.

That was when Lance saw it. This was nothing like the other rocks... it was almost like a building. Just as long as it was wide. Behind him, there were flying boulders and satellites. Lance didn’t think he could avoid this. Both objects were moving too fast; he was moving too fast.

He closed his eyes, “Keith, hold on to something.”

“What wh—oh, shit.”

Sucking in a long, deep breath, Lance connected himself with the lion. All of his training was going to be put to good use in this moment. No turning back. Opening his eyes, Lance dove down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what kind of angst is coming next lmao lets hope my writing can live up to it


End file.
